I WAS very interested in the letter from Mike Chalkley (Letters, April 27), who is puzzled by signs saying “Cyclists dismount” but there is never one telling them when they can remount, so I have recently been analysing local signs.

In a Westbourne car park there is a sign saying “Lock your vehicle and take all non-essential items with you”. Surely the non-essential items are the ones you leave behind?

Driving between Dorchester and Bridport we are advised that the area is prone to fog. Why not just say “low-lying”?

On the road to Shillingstone there is a sign just before the crest of a hill saying “Blind summit”! This must be where the partially sighted hold their annual conference.

“Merge” and “weave” took a long time to unravel but l have finally concluded that it is advising independent weavers to join a consortium in order to obtain their cotton at more advantageous prices.

Some of the traffic reports on the radio are equally confusing. Sometimes we are informed that an accident has been removed – how can you remove something that has already occurred? Then we have “reports of an ongoing accident”. Is this similar to a multiple collision or merely one where the drivers carry on without stopping to exchange details?

We are occasionally informed that the road is partially blocked by a shed load but they never say a shed load of what or even the size of the shed so we are unable to gauge the full extent of the blockage.

One dark rainy night I was driving back from Southampton and there was an illuminated matrix up ahead. Motorists were slowing down to peer at it through the gloom so I followed suit only to discover that it said “No reported incidents” – this is sheer stupidity so why not just leave it turned off?

GRAHAM CRIBB, Branksome Wood Road, Bournemouth