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Expectations sky high

8:00am Saturday 20th March 2010

THERE’S a fair amount of gloom around, so today’s opinion column contains unremitting good news.

Let’s stop them going to blazes

8:00am Friday 19th March 2010

SO the ‘spy in the sky’ spotter plane didn’t quite cut the mustard when it came to deterring arsonists on Canford Heath, so now we’re changing tack.

Biscuitbarrel and jarring politics

8:00am Thursday 18th March 2010

DO you fancy being an MP? Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel certainly did. He stood as a candidate for the Monster Raving Loony party in the 1981 Crosby by-election but was pipped by the one time Swanage evacuee and Talbot Heath pupil, Social Democrat Shirley Williams.

Fuel if you think it’s over...

8:00am Wednesday 17th March 2010

PETROL at £1.20 a litre? £5.45 a gallon? It’s utter madness!

It's not grim down South

9:00am Tuesday 16th March 2010

EXCUSE me for mentioning it if you come from England’s upper latitudes but for as long as I can recall the friendly reputation of people living up North has been remorselessly force-fed down my delicate southern gullet.

Bewitched by Samantha and Sarah?

7:30am Monday 15th March 2010

DAVID Cameron can cook a bit but makes a mess, according to his wife, Samatha, who was interviewed on telly last night. And Gordon Brown is romantic and, you guessed it, messy, revealed his wife, Sarah, in an online chat.

Crossing that bridge at last!

7:30am Saturday 13th March 2010

FORMER prime minister Harold Wilson once described himself as an optimist who wore a raincoat.

Go ahead class, make my day...

8:00am Friday 12th March 2010

NEW teachers have been encouraged to act like Clint Eastwood to gain the respect of pupils.

This parking's driving us mad!

8:00am Thursday 11th March 2010

I CAN think of better places to spend my time than hospitals.

Why you should give up smoking

9:00am Wednesday 10th March 2010

AFTER three decades have passed, you'd think only an idiot would remember the exact day on which he gave up smoking cigarettes. But, 12,385 days on, I am that man.






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