DON'T let heartbreak wreck your mental health.

This is the message from Bournemouth psychotherapist Dr Trevor Roberts, who has launched a free support group for those struggling to cope after the break-up of a relationship.

That dark feeling of hopelessness and despair so morbidly associated with losing somebody you love, enduring the mourning of a loss of optimism and excitement of thinking you know what your life might be, and who you will spend it with – this is an emotion that affects almost everyone at some point.

But Dr Roberts says enough is enough and that nobody should go through this unsupported.

“It can be devastating,” he said. “People kill themselves over this – it is that serious. Of all the ways we grow in life and develop, we grow more in relationships than any other way.

“There are lots and lots of groups for people with addictions, depression and all sorts of illnesses, but to my knowledge there is nothing between here and London to help people who are going through the aftermath of a divorce or a bereavement of a relationship break-up.

“Let’s be honest about it - as experiences in life go - they suck more than anything else.”

Dr Roberts, who has been in private practice since 1994, goes beyond the traditional tea and sympathy – he explores explanations for failed relationships and encourages you to look at the patterns in your previous ones to avoid the same thing happening again.

“The tragedy is, I find the people with the worst experiences in childhood, for example those who have been through very abusive backgrounds, tend to end up in the worst relationships.

“That is not an accident - there is actually a psychological reason for that. It is the link between post-traumatic stress disorder and repetition compulsion.”

He said that behaviour of repeating doomed romantic scenarios is distinct to humans and goes against all our other natural instincts, which are typically geared towards survival.

“It's unconsciously deliberate,” he added. “What we are doing is recreating the circumstances where the hope is that we can finally release the trauma from the body. The hope is our adult selves can finally heal the wounds from childhood.

“Once you understand those patterns there is at least some opportunity to do something to change them. It doesn't mean it is the end of the story - but it is the most important start.”

The group meets every Monday at Moordown Community Centre, 21 Coronation Avenue, between 7.45pm and 9.15pm. For more information call Dr Roberts on 07790 333431 or visit bournemouthhypnotherapy.co.uk.