I DON’T care if Scotland wants to leave the union, paint its bottom blue and spend the rest of its days munching deep-fried Mars Bars while watching re-runs of Braveheart.

They can do what they like.

So long as I don’t have to pay for it. Which I have been, so far. And now, because of the gross incompetence of ALL politicians, it looks like I’ll have to pay even more if they go and so will my poor kids.

The word to watch here isn’t Scotland, however. It’s politicians.

Politicians like Ed Miliband who reckons that when Scotland dumps us he might introduce a ‘manned border’ up near Hadrian’s Wall.

Just like the Fortress Britain he didn’t help introduce when he was part of Gordon Brown’s government, then? The one he hasn’t been campaigning for over the past few years?

Like David Cameron and Nick Clegg, I’m pretty sure Ed doesn’t really give a hoot about immigrants, Scottish or otherwise. Why would they?

Immigrants are the people who clean the homes of people like them at rock bottom prices.

They are the folk who flog themselves for all hours, scrubbing their workplaces.

The party leaders don’t have to send their kids to schools where ‘20 languages are spoken here’ – as if that was something to be pleased about – and nor do they have to wait for appointments with doctors whose surgeries are rammed with folk that nobody ever calculated would all want to come and settle here.

But while we won’t ever have proper borders to tackle all this, we WILL meekly allow Alex Salmond to hitch his tartan tuk-tuk to our pound, no doubt consulting him all the way about the monetary policy which should be ours alone.

We’ll meekly agree to Scotland shouldering a few pence of the debt their financial institutions helped run up, allow them to keep large chunks of our armed services and cut sick deals whereby the shareholders and bosses of fatcat finance firms are well taken care of, but the rest of England, Wales and Northern Ireland can get stuffed.

The reason I can say this with confidence is that Ed, Dave, Nick and Alex are career politicians.

Which means that within a few months our Scottish voter chums will see that far from being William Wallace or Nelson Mandela, Alex is probably going to be little different to the Westminster rabble they thought they’d left behind.

I’m willing to bet that under his rule the poor will get poorer while the rich will get richer – or get out of the place altogether.

I am also willing to bet he’ll raise taxes for ordinary people while taking care of the rich. And, when the oil has all gone, whoever comes after will tax and frack Bonnie Scotland into small fragments.

Scottish people may be different to English ones. Scotland IS different to England and that’s why I love the place.

But politicians are the same the world over, as our northern neighbours are about to find out. And how.