WE'VE all seen them. A gas cylinder in the back of a chariot, a gas lamp with an electrical cord attached, sunglasses in a Western and white vans on a battlefield.

They're called bloopers, goofs, continuity errors, or just plain mistakes which for whatever reason make their way onto our film and tv screens.

I only mention this because there are people out there who spend what seems like their whole lives looking through top movies and television programmes to find the slightest blip.

And when they do find one - presumably after exhaustive searching - they post it on the internet so everyone else can see it.

And once you've seen the error, it can completely spoil your view of that production.

No matter that it's a multi-award winner and highly recommended, all you will now notice is the guy wearing a sombrero hat in the background during a world war two scene.

The odd thing is that viewers expect movies and tv shows to be realistic.

They want more gritty, earthy productions, showing what real life is like.

Well, their view of real life is a lot different from mine.

For instance, when a secret agent at HQ is tracking a suspect on multiple screens, all the high-tech wizardry, no matter how complex, works quickly and efficiently.

When was the last time you saw the words 'system error' appear on one of their screens and the buffering circle or 'polo mint from hell'?

Take two cops in a stake-out. They are sitting in a car late at night for hours on end. They are seen drinking copious amounts of coffee. It's freezing outside. They can't have the car engine running otherwise that will alert the bad guys. Not once do they go to the toilet. Not once.

It's not just the action movies which fail to deliver realism.

Romantic movies fall way short in that department. Love making is tender, beautiful, indeed an art form.

Not once have I seen anybody take out their false teeth and drop them into a glass of water or fall over taking their trousers off.

There's no clashes of noses while trying to kiss or constant interruptions or someone saying "Not now darling, Match of the Day is on."

In movies, the phones always get a signal, no-one gets cold-called, everybody gets a parking space and no-one says: "The thingy is over there where you left it, in the whatsisname" during a conversation.

The whole joy of tv shows and movies should be sheer escapism. Just enjoy the moment. Real life will hit you as soon as you stop viewing.

By now you will be thinking why's there a photo of Aidan Turner on the page?

You may not have read this far and just spent your time looking at the picture.

Or you may have come to the conclusion this is just a cheap way of making you read this column.

Well, it is still kind of linked to the above piece.

As you can see Aidan's a good looking guy with a great body.

Now look at your male partner.

Is there any resemblance between the Poldark star and the man standing in front of you? Thought not.

That's why we go to the movies and watch tv. To see beautiful people we don't come across every day of the week.

Aidan, just for the record, is also a very good actor.

He is currently being touted as a future James Bond.

I do have one concern though.

The poor guy seems to have forgotten where he's put his shirt and we can't have a semi-naked Bond, can we?