I’M not fluent in speaking Oz but the stickybeak pom who deported a woman arriving from Down Under to sing at the Tolpuddle Martyrs Rally this weekend must be a right drongo.

Whatever your views on unions today, the rally celebrates a turning point in history. Back in 1834, six Dorset farm labourers, whose families faced starvation through lowering wages, found themselves transported to Van Diemen’s Land.

And they returned heroes after fair-minded British people of all opinions recognised they were victims of repression and demanded their release.

This month, Maureen Lum, from Tasmania, experienced a similar boomerang effect to the Martyrs but in the opposite direction.

And how embarrassingly ridiculous was that?

She was not some dangerous Tasmanian devil but a grandmother coming over to perform as an amateur at the rally with a community choir who apparently belt out workers’ songs.

To be frank, I won’t be rushing to hear them but would love to have witnessed the rubbish performance by the jumbuck-brained immigration officer at Stansted who saw fit to boot her back home because, despite being an amateur singer, she didn’t have a performer’s visa.

Luckily, a polly in Parliament this week highlighted the shameful irony with an Early Day Motion.

And the good news is that Maureen has returned waving her visa and is all set, I suspect, to get a rip-snorting reception when she and her choir whack out their wacky numbers at the rally.

Rightly so. The only banners should be those carried by rally-goers… not red-tape jobsworths banning warbling Maureen from lobbing in to enjoy a dinkum slice of Dorset hospitality.