I WISH I’d been there to study the reactions. Sultan Qaboos presented Her Majesty with two magnificent gifts and was given, in return, a book called The Elements of Clock and Watch-Work by a Scottish watchmaker, published in 1766.

Now, for all I know the ruler of Oman may spend all his spare time tinkering with mechanical timepieces and the old book may have been the very thing he’d longed for.

But if I’d just given someone a 21-carat gold engraved vase together with a Faberge-style egg that contained a tiny carousel of horses that spun round to a musical tune, I’d have wanted something rather different in return.

A signed Cherries shirt at the very least.

Her Majesty certainly looked delighted with her presents but it’s difficult to gauge the Sultan’s reaction to his old book, not having been there to clock his face or hand movements.

A recent survey, however, revealed that it is impossible to disguise your disappointment when given an unwanted gift. Perhaps, but etiquette demands that you still give it a bash.

There are now just three weeks or so to go to Christmas when you will be sitting in Gran’s lounge swapping presents, knowing that Uncle Herman and Auntie Morticia will give you a present that you want about as much as toffee when you’ve got a toothache.

How should you respond?

Obviously this will test your acting skills. The challenge is to show happiness and thanks even though you are secretly screaming with inner agony knowing your wife or mum will say that you will have to wear it while they are here.

It could be, for example, a hand-knitted polo neck pullie with a design on the front copied from an embarrassing picture that was taken of you on the potty when you were two.

You have two choices in how to act fake pleasure.

Firstly, you can simply say, “How lovely!” and move over to Auntie Morticia and plant a kiss on her cheek before turning to Uncle Herman and saying, “Thank you so much. It’s certainly unique.”

That may prove a challenge even to thespians such as Emily Watson or Daniel Radcliffe let alone the likes of you or me.

The amateur’s alternative is to subtly conceal all expressions by hamming it up. First jump up and punch the air, letting out a wild whoop.

Then, charge around the house at speed shouting “Wow! It’s just what I always wanted!”

You then return to your place on the floor with a beam as wide as Uncle Herman’s backside and turn to your brother or sister saying: “Now, open your present Lurch (or Letitia)! And let’s hope you’ve been just as lucky as me!”

Beneath this sophisticated veneer you may be feeling like punching the wall in disbelief, knowing it’s the worst present given in the family since Dad gave Mum the bathroom scales with the fat measurement tool.

But you will have done the family proud and not let the side down.

Just as the Sultan evidently didn’t when receiving The Elements of Clock and Watch-work book as a gift from Britain, whatever he thought of it.

And Gordon Brown didn’t when being given a box of DVDs by President Obama last year after presenting him an antique ornamental pen-holder made from the timbers of a famous Victorian anti-slave ship.

And even former president George W Bush didn’t after being given a washbag by our then prime minister Tony Blair.

Worse still, Bush couldn’t even re-gift it later to someone else.

Because, the washbag had been embossed with the gold initials GWB.

Who said the Blairs lacked taste?