WE all expected fireworks when Wayne Rooney met his nemesis Cristiano Ronaldo earlier this week following that infamous World Cup match between England and Portugal.

But instead of seeing red, the Manchester United striker surprised us all by not rising to the bait and playing it cool. For it can often be harder to turn the other cheek than to avenge just ask Zinedine Zidane!

Most of us have lashed out from time to time or have been on the receiving end of somebody else's wrath.

But these days it seems that people's anger is exploding all around us.

According to latest statistics, 45 per cent of us regularly lose our temper at work, 64 per cent of Britons working in an office have had office rage, UK airlines reported 1,486 significant or serious acts of air rage in a year (a 59 per cent increase on the previous year) and more than 80 per cent of drivers say they have been involved in road rage incidents.* Mike Fisher, director of the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM), says all the evidence shows that anger is on the increase.

"These figures are a clear indication that our culture is in crisis.

"We live in a me-centred society' of instant gratification and we are no longer as patient as we used to be if we don't get what we want.

"The number of enquiries we get now compared to when we first launched seven years ago just keeps rising."

Local counsellor Pauline Couch, who runs anger management classes, agrees that people are more prone to flying off the handle nowadays.

"It's symptomatic of modern life everyone is rushing around and people don't make time to chat, have a moan, off-load to each other like they used to.

"Although most people experience the feeling of anger, it is the one feeling that is least understood.

"It can appear to come from nowhere and at times have no rational cause.

"I have worked with numerous people who come to counselling for what appears to be an anger management issue but it often transpires that there are deeper issues that have been pushed into the unconscious mind causing an imbalance in behaviours and emotional wellbeing."

Pauline, who worked for The Children's Society project at The Junction in Bournemouth for nine years until it closed its doors earlier this year, says it's important to learn to control anger.

"Anger is a form of communication, albeit a negative one, but some anger in your personality can be healthy if handled in the right way," she explains.

"We need all types of emotion, that's what makes us human but it's about getting control of the anger because you are not born with it.

"People can learn to be angry if you're brought up in a family where people shout at each other all the time, then that's how you will communicate too.

"They often confuse anger with confidence, but in my experience it's quite the reverse and it's normally to do with a lack of self-esteem and the anger is a mask."

Pauline, who has just set up Step4ward, a new counselling and training service based at AFC Bournemouth, also offers a range of courses and workshops including self-esteem building, counselling and communication skills.

Once the organisation is viable Pauline, who has more than 30 years' experience, hopes to offer a free counselling service for young people.

"There is more of a need now than ever before as people are getting angrier but the anger is a symptom not the cause it's about a deep need to be heard."

* Supplied by Sunday Times Magazine

Calming tips

  • Breathe deeply, count to seven on the in breath and 11 on the out breath.
  • Remind yourself to keep your cool.
  • Remove yourself from the situation physically and emotionally.
  • Count backwards from 20 to 1.
  • Go for a walk.
  • Visualise a calm tranquil place like the sea or mountains.
  • Let go of any expectations you might have.
  • Remember life isn't fair.
  • Take up a relaxing hobby like gardening, yoga, meditation.
  • Relax in a bath whilst listening to chilled music.
  • Inhale relaxing aromatherapy oils like lavender.

How to keep your cool

  • Stop think and look at the bigger picture.
  • It's OK to have a different opinion. Opinions are not facts, they are only what you think.
  • Listen to what the other person is saying.
  • Keep a Journal. An effective way to stop you internalising anger.
  • Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do or say is because of you.