We’ve been ad

Famous celebrity brand – sorry, footballer – David Beckham is renowned for his ability to shift everything from sunglasses to fizzy drinks, burgers and even pants that were clearly too small for him.

His wife, Victoria, formerly known as Posh Spice, is, to put it politely, notoriously adept at spotting ways of turning a quick buck.

Together they are seemingly unstoppable, blessed with the adman’s Midas touch. Everything they endorse turns to gold.

But surely their latest commercial, a lustful encounter in a lift, is taking it all too far?

It’s to plug their fragrance, Intimately Beckham Yours, and is “designed to capture the essence of David and Victoria Beckham’s passion and the power of their relationship”.

Huh. The ability to persuade ordinary punters to part with mega dosh, more like. No wonder she stuck by him despite his alleged indiscretions with a woman who basked in her reflected glory by doing something unspeakable on a farm in a so-called reality show.

And maybe that’s why Colleen Rooney hasn’t yet kicked out husband Wayne, who’s been playing away from home quite a bit by some accounts; and Abbey Clancy has stuck with gangly robot-dancing Peter Crouch, although he’s perhaps been less than fully focused on their relationship.

Would Wazza and Crouchy and their respective Wags, even though they’re already richer than Croesus, stoop so low as to appear in an embarrassing ad for purely financial gain?

Of course they would. Wouldn’t you?

But is the lavish shoot for Yours (there, it works, that’s the second name check already) the most cringe-worthy celebrity endorsement of all time?

Probably not. After all, it can hardly be worse than Kerry Katona plugging the delights of frozen food, or larger-than-life golfer John Daly extolling the delights of Hooters, a restaurant chain where the waitresses are never knowingly overdressed.

And if you thought Beckham was over the hill, then what about Gavin Henson, better known these days as the former Mr Charlotte Church and a contestant in the upcoming series of Strictly Come Dancing?

Henson, you see, hasn’t played international rugby for 18 months, yet he was still chosen as the man to model the new kit on a 100ft banner unveiled earlier this week by the Welsh union.

It was a stunt that provoked bemusement, amusement and mainly anger among the blokes that can be bothered to play for their country – and a damning indictment of the triumph of celebrity over true sporting prowess.

But even the Gavin Gaffe is overshadowed by what has to be the clear winner of the most embarrassing ad featuring a sports star ever.

Little over a year ago, Tiger Woods was the best golfer on the planet, possibly the best the world had ever seen.

Then his wife (now ex-wife) Elin discovered he’d been getting over-familiar with some cocktail waitresses, and Tiger took a break from the game.

There was much discussion of Woods’ commercial opportunities, many of them based on a family man image that had been exposed as a myth.

So what on earth possessed Woods, and Nike, to release a TV ad around the time of his US Masters return, where the golfer looks into the camera as his late father, Earl, says: “I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. And did you learn anything?”

It was meant to be a stylish and meaningful 30-second sales pitch. It didn’t work.

It was meant to show Tiger in a more humble light. It did exactly the opposite.

Instead, that ad was seen as cashing in on the superstar’s famously close relationship with his father. It showed Woods hadn’t learned his lesson – and helped explain how he had come such a spectacular cropper in the first place.

Suddenly, somehow, Posh and Becks cavorting between floors doesn’t seem so tacky after all.