WE'VE come a long way since man first placed his hairy foot on planet earth. Among other revolutionary accomplishments we’ve invented the wheel, built the combustion engine, crafted the aeroplane, landed on the moon and masterminded the internet.

Technology has moved so fast that if you have a meeting on the other side of the world next week, you would be considered old fashioned to fly there. Instead, you’d be expected to turn on your computer and attend via the World Wide Web.

It must be mind boggling for old people. In their day catching a mouse in a spring-loaded trap was bordering on futuristic, but now if you double click on one you can watch yourself doing last week’s gardening – from space!

Aside from the internet, cars have also revolutionised the way we live. If you knew someone who owned a motor back in 1908 you were considered to be cool, but nowadays if your car doesn’t bleep at you when you’re about to reverse into your house, then you aren’t.

And let’s not forget about the aeroplane. Go back 60 years and the only ones flying were fighter pilots and people with a penchant for magic mushrooms. Yet today, if you want to go from one end of Britain to the other you’ll hop on a plane and think nothing of it – in the same way our fighter pilots will think nothing of doing 3,000mph before breakfast.

So we’re moving forward and life is getting faster. Well, not exactly. Despite our high-speed broadband society, things are actually slowing down.

Take motoring for example. Although cars are getting quicker, speed limits are coming down – not that it matters, as our gridlocked roads will slow you long before the authorities.

Since we decided to ditch our maps for satellite navigation systems, nobody knows where they’re going, so it now takes longer to arrive at the wrong destination.

Then there’s the internet.

Last week I attempted online banking but because there was a gentle breeze outside, my mobile broadband connection kept failing.

By the time I got round to viewing my balance I realised it would have been quicker if I’d cartwheeled to the bank.

Things have slowed down in the office too. Instead of getting on with work we’re scratching our heads wondering why saving a document is classed as an “illegal operation”, and we’ll spend hours pleading with our computers to stop freezing on us. Those who don’t work in an office aren’t safe either. You need a licence for this, a permit for that, training for this and assistance with that – I even heard the other week about a schoolboy who wasn’t allowed to mop the floor of the shop he worked at because he hadn’t had the training. We might have only just entered a recession, but in many respects we were already going backwards.