AS ONE is in possession of a PlayStation Move controller, I will be playing Grand Slam 2 as God intended. That’s assuming God is a Sony executive, which he probably isn’t.

So let’s have a career, because that’s how we always play sporting games. Dipping in and out of tournaments and playing one-off matches is all very well, but the proper gamer (that’s you, you know) assumes control of the tennis professional’s whole ridiculous life.

Upon creating your player and entering the initial tournaments, you’ll spot that reality has been binned from the off. You’ll come up against some lower-ranked fools you’re unlikely to have heard of, and then be faced with the usual suspects – Nads, Feds, Djoks – alongside some legends of the sport.

Yes, up stroll Borg, McEnroe, Edberg and Becker to test your mettle. Which is nice, I guess, but playing angry John while the man himself comments on the match is downright weird.

Playing with the Move is a very forgiving experience. You’re only concerned with hitting the ball, so the computer plops your character right where he needs to be on the court. There’s also a certain amount of automated swinging going on, so quite often all it takes to return the fuzz is a simple muscle spasm.

This makes for ease of progression but also leaves an impression of little control.

Accuracy of return is also hit-and-miss. You might want to smash the little beggar down the line, but your lithe hand movements will instead be recognised as a cross-court shot. This results in some mammoth rallies as shots to wrong-foot your opponent are bashed straight to his forehand.

It probably plays better with a standard controller, but the Move really should be the perfect tool for this title. Downgrading to a thumb-controlled device is like choosing the drums to rehearse Beethoven’s 6th.