FEAR, pride – and the fact you cannot kiss them better. The death of a Bournemouth-born soldier has highlighted Dorset’s mothers’ own experiences as their children fight in Afghanistan.

Private Conrad Lewis, 22, who moved to Warwickshire as a toddler, will be repatriated through Wootton Bassett today.

His death prompted heartfelt tributes from three Dorset mothers – and the Daily Echo asked them to explain what they are going through.

A Bournemouth mum, whose son is in Afghanistan now, said: “I cope because I have to – it would not be right for my son to know I was in bits.

“He needs to have 100 per cent concentration at all times.

“I was very worried when he told me he was going but nothing I said would change this.

“I was always an avid news watcher but now I can’t watch it much, and dread late night telephone calls and night-time knocks at the door – or cars pulling up outside our house.

“My main fear is of him being in pain far away from home because, as a mum, I should be there to protect and love him, to ‘kiss it better’ – and I can’t.

“He is always in my thoughts whatever I am doing, from waking to last thing at night, when his favourite music is played on the radio, at Sunday dinner, when I dust his photos.

“The list is endless.”

An East Dorset mum, whose son is also currently in Afghanistan, said: “Apparently almost every soldier wants to go – that’s what they train for, I was told.

“He spoke openly to us and said it was what he wanted to do, and if he came home in wooden overcoat, then he had at least tried to do what he wanted.

“Cue a hard gulp and holding back my emotions.

“He is now towards the end of his posting, but would still be keen to return.

“I live in dread every time the telephone rings, or the news speaks of yet more casualties. A local casualty brings the nightmare even closer to home.

“I wear my Help For Heroes bracelet with pride. I meet others with the same adornment. We are not alone. We relate to family or friends serving out there.

“We share the same hopes and fears.”

A Bournemouth mum whose son will deploy in the autumn with 5 Rifles said: “My stomach churns every time I think about it – which is many times a day.

“People say ‘Well, he knew what was expected when he joined’ – I know all that!

“But it doesn’t stop me being scared.

“I can’t protect him anymore and make sure he’s safe.

“The day my husband left for Iraq he kissed my cheek and said see you soon. I was changing my son’s nappy and feeling helpless.

“I never thought 20 years later I would be going through it all again with that baby!”