IF SIR Alex Ferguson says you’ve got two heads, you’ve got two heads, a Manchester United insider revealed this week.

This news evidently hasn’t penetrated the skull of Wayne Rooney. Because, at some point over the past few months, he had the nerve to tell Sir Alex that he didn’t want to stay at Manchester United.

Because they don’t win enough trophies.

Or buy enough expensive players.

Or something.

I’m no football fan but you’d have to be sporting no heads at all not to realise that Manchester United stands alone of any other club in the world.

They are the club which fought their way back from the brink of the abyss, when the Busby Babes perished on that runway in Munich in 1958.

They are the club that clinched the treble, that plucked George Best from obscurity; the club of Sir Bobby Charlton and of the matchless Duncan Edwards, the memory of whom still makes old men cry.

They don’t call Old Trafford the Theatre of Dreams for nothing.

Man U may not be as rich as Manchester City – the club that would have been most likely to snap up Rooney – but City are like the embarrassing rich boy.

Everyone pretends to like him but only because of all the dosh washing round. City just aren’t cool.

Earlier this week Sir Alex says he told Rooney he should “respect his club”.

He should, but why didn’t Fergie go further?

Why didn’t he let his ignorant player have it with both barrels of the hairdrier?

Why didn’t he tell him he is a pea-brained oik with the charisma of a drainpipe who should be on his knees with gratitude for what has happened in his life; not apparently throwing his weight around and his toys out of the pram?

Sir Alex might also have pointed out that this affair has broken in a week when millions of people; including those who pay his wages, are facing a scary future in which their own hopes and dreams will be crushed under the weight of the cutbacks introduced by this government.

Now is the time for Rooney to come good, not whinge.

I could understand Rooney’s frustration about the trophy situation if he were a decent lad. But he isn’t.

He’s a man who has cheated on his wife with ‘escort girls’.

But for his talent, I suspect Wayne Rooney’s entire career would have been built around the phrase: “And would you like fries with that?” It’s something he should be made to consider.

Every day, preferably.