Graham Norton's Doctor Who debut and Glee

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Graham Norton.

Just as we were all tentatively poking our noses back out from behind our sofas, after that oh-so-scary scene (reminiscent of the one in cult horror movie The Ring) in which the awful Weeping Angel came out of a television set and scurried malevolently towards Amy Pond when she wasn’t looking; oh, and coming to terms with the horrible realisation that an army of these psychopathic Angels, AKA Lonely Assassins, were closing in on the Doc, Amy and River, a properly horrible thing occurred.

A gurning, cartoon version of Graham Norton not only flashed up on the screen but pranced, like Bully off Bullseye, straight across the good Doctor’s face at a crucial part of the action in what was one of the best Who cliffhanger climaxes ever.

There was brief confusion, followed by disbelief at Gibson Towers, I can tell you.

Then it sunk in. Attached to Norton was a jokey banner informing us all that Over the Rainbow (BBC1, 7.10pm) was coming on next, as if we were a tribe of morons, unable to decipher a telly listing or use the myriad technological means we have of ensuring we never have to miss, I mean witness, this appalling show.

At the risk of sounding like Mrs Middle-England of Acacia Avenue, shame on you BBC.

This is the sort of stunt you’d expect from US television, or even ITV, yet this was a tacky move by the channel we still wistfully rely on to show a bit of decorum.

I’m not alone in my geeky annoyance.

At the last count the BBC had received more than 5,000 complaints about it, and Nortongate is now fuelling many best-avoided debates on the web, natch.

The corporation apologised for the “the mistake” and, thanks to overwhelming people power, it is unlikely to be repeated. For now.

But it got me thinking.

Maybe Mark Thompson, head of the Beeb who has just quit, using some flimsy excuse about leaked information on the axing of 6 Music, was actually a feeble alien life-force inhabiting the sucked-out husk of a human body and was being manipulated all along by Earth’s greatest menace, the terrible Sirandrewlloydwebbedfeet (Siralloyd for short).

Now Norton is Siralloyd’s main weapon of mass disruption and this new Who was commissioned purely as part of the origami-faced one’s master plan to get more and more campness on the box, starting by stealth with the likes of Any Dream Will Do and How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?, up to his current Over the Rainbow.

Is our treasured Doctor Who now merely a subliminal publicity vehicle for who knows what future shows he has up his sleeve?

Streisand Tested, where they search for the new Barbra?

Or Maybe This Time, I’ll Be Lucky – where wannabe Lisa Minnellis compete for a crystal-studded bowler hat and a stint in the West End before being cast aside for the new Eva Peron in Evict an Evita?

This, ladies and gentlemen, could well be the sick reality of future television.

I think it needs a Doctor, don’t you?

At least my guilty secret, Glee (Monday, E4, 9pm), is safely across the pond so there is no chance of Siralloyd’s clammy fingers fiddling with that.

Oh, sure, there are sing-offs, yes there are wannabe pop stars and the entire thing is drenched in an intensely fabulous and touching campness, but glorious Glee is about as far removed from Over the Rainbow as The Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club’s skittle and stripper night.

And this week’s Madonna special was quite simply sublime.

Interwoven through the ridiculous yet captivating storyline we had a pile of greatest hits which, love or hate her Madgesty, made it a joyful, silly piece of escapism that cheered me right up.

I worried that the crazily hyped and gossiped-about Vogue spoof by the majestically vindictive yet pitiful Sue Sylvester could be a disappointment.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

When that girl struck a pose, she struck a blow for great TV.

Watch it and weep Rainbow boy!