YOU know that awful feeling when you realise you’re banging your head against a brick wall and nobody’s listening?

I don’t want fireworks banned, I just want to do something to restrict their use outside the public fireworks display arenas.

Talk about the issue with reasonable people and they get so angry that it’s impossible to use their quotes in the paper.

Talk to people about their pets and you’ll hear dreadful tales of pets being put down because of the stress of the war zone outside their homes or of dogs bolting from the sound of an explosion and losing its life under the wheels of a car.

But generally you will receive a very strong reaction from people who are simply fed up with the constant barrage of explosions over a month-long period and who want it to stop.

One night a few years ago – November 16, mind you – a large firework was set off outside my home before midnight. In her terror, our dog smashed her way through a glass sliding door.

I only hope the man responsible for that explosion – and let’s face it, it’s just got to be a bloke hasn’t it? – had the misfortune to suffer at least a decade of chronic impotence.

After all, my dog ended up with a limp, so why the hell shouldn’t he?

I have nothing against fireworks. But I have plenty against the people who buy them and use them irresponsibly.