Tributes to Big Issue seller Ralph

Ralph Millward, 41, was found dead outside Marks and Spencer in Seamoor Road in Westbourne just after 7am on Friday.

His death shocked the community who got to know Ralph while he sold the Big Issue from his regular pitch outside the store.

Carole Spiers, from London, visits Westbourne several times and year.

She said: “Here was someone, well liked, a gentleman in the true sense of the word who, when not ‘on duty’ at his pitch, would always have his head in a book. Some of us would stop and talk to him. But sadly there are some who will have walked quickly past him as if he did not exist.

“How sad is it that we can do this to a member of our community. There are so many lonely people who have little or no communication with anyone for days on end. “Whatever the cause of Ralph’s untimely death, let his legacy be to remind us to make sure that we make time to give to someone who will so value a word or a greeting, an acknowledgement that even without money, they are still human."

Lloyd Miller said: “I'd known Ralph since about 2000, when I was living in Westbourne. He was such a kind, gentle soul who I loved spending time with. He had a great sense of humour, and despite the hand that life had dealt him he had a positive outlook in life.”

Sevgi Gurun said: “Ralph, I am so upset about the tragic and senseless loss of your life. Westbourne will never be the same without you. I will always remember your smile and I wish I had got to know you better than only saying hello!”

Phil Gould of Lytchett Matravers said: “Ralph was always friendly and kind when we spoke. I know Ralph had many problems, and his pride maybe got in the way of getting the help he could have got, but he left an indelible impression on me and my family. My daughter cried when she heard the news.”

Claudia Langton said: “I worked with you at the Big Issue, I was a volunteer and I always used to see you when you arrived late for you mags. I really warmed to you, I am so sad to hear of such a great loss to everyone that had the pleasure of knowing you.”

A tribute from Kim, Ivor, Ron and Caryn said: “We all remember Ralph's cheerful face as we passed through Westbourne and we all used to say ‘How does he do it?’, every day in all weathers. Wouldn't it be nice if a small plaque could be put on the wall by M&S to remember him by or even if that corner where he stood everyday could be named Ralphy's Corner… what a nice idea for a nice man? We will always remember him.”

Miec Heggett said: “”The last time I saw you we shook hands and wished each other luck as I was leaving Westbourne to take up a new job. I am moving back to Westbourne in the next few months and was looking forward to seeing you again but now you are gone and Westbourne is a much poorer place without you. Go well brother.”

The Breese family e-mailed: “A scholar and a gentleman! RIP you were polite, cheerful in the face of adversity, had a ready smile and a cheeky grin. You brightened my visits to Westbourne and your quiet, dependable nature will be sorely missed. “

Silky, says...
RIP Ralph. You will be missed mate. Your polite manner in all weathers while selling the Big Issue made my day every time I worked in your area.

Roger of Bournemouth, says: You always had a smile and did no one any harm. We will both miss you. Rest in peace at last. Marianne & Roger

Salbourne, Bournemouth says.: Dear Ralph, Westbourne will not be the same without you. For all the years we have chatted I've never known you without a smile, come rain or shine. A very special man, with a caring heart. RIP.

AndyBB, Weymouth says… Always a friendly smile and a "hello, how are you?" Lost for words. RIP mate...

Banzaiuk, Branksome says... Speechless. Ralph was a lovely guy and we'll miss him. Capable of great warmth and spirit, hugely polite, he was always fun to shoot the breeze with. Ralph, you won't be forgotten. Peace and rest easy chap. Steve & Penny.


Ridvan, Bournemouth says... Dear Ralph, I used to serve you at least once a week in my shop but you were a regular customer of my shop every night. I always admired you about your reading habit of reading any kind of book even during your breaks right behind the back of Barclays bank. We will miss you. You were a great man with pleasant manner. I am sure you are well in heaven.

Alwyn-Ladell, Westbourne says... Ralph, who (until the Insurance made it impossible) lived safely for a time in the Boiler House at St Ambrose Church, was a welcome and cheery figure who had become part of Westbourne's landscape.

Never pushy with his Big Issues, an avid reader and thinker - which made his conversations worthwhile, friendly and courteous, Ralph was taken to heart by so many that it was a point of pride to say how well we knew him. It is to society's shame that, in 2009, we still cannot look after our involuntary homeless - and Ralph had tried to get on various waiting lists for accommodation. Living rough meant a constant battle to dry out damp clothes, to keep scant belongings away from thieves, to maintain hygiene without the facilities we take for granted, as well as the ongoing challenges of finding food and keeping warm.

We could all have done more but, those who helped him in whatever way may now cherish that association; and those who missed the opportunity may reflect and hope that, if misfortune strikes them, they may find people of good will to help them in time of need. Despite his hardships, Ralph was rarely morose and counted the blessing of nature and his many friends. His violent and untimely death is tragedy that will scar our community for years. But, whilst his death was pointless, his life was not: and keeping his memory alive may spur us into lending a hand to others who may slip through the holes in the safety net that we like to think our society can provide.

Hearts, Westbourne says...

Ralph, I only wish I had known that was your name. You put the 'gentle' into gentleman. One of the reasons I love living in Westbourne is because of the friendliness, the sense of community. You were always part of that for me. Always a happy, smiley face, often, your head in a book. Whether people bought from you or not, you had a friendly smile, a kind word.

You always had time for my children and noticed the change in them over time. Westbourne has a wonderful sense of belonging and community, but I feel somehow we, as a community let you down. I wish you had known how important you were to so many people. Why do we leave it until it is too late to say? My family and I are so sad, what a wasted, precious life - so cruel. They say the good die young. Rest in peace now, Ralph, shine bright...

BmthGary, Westbourne says...

Like the majority of us on here i didn't know Ralph particularly well. If I was shopping in Westbourne and had some spare money then I would stop, say hello and buy an issue from him. He would always make the time to say thank you and was extremely courteous.

He will be sorely missed in Westbourne; not just for his warm smile and pleasant manner but also for his commitment, he was committed in making a better life for himself. Whether rain, snow, lightning or baking heat he would be stood there selling the Issue in the hope that it would lead to a better life. To see just how respected Ralf was all you need to do is take a walk over to M&S and see the tributes and flowers laid out there. I would like to ask everybody if they know of anyone amongst us who is so committed in their work?

What a perfect advertisement these men and woman are for the rest of us; they show up day after day and all weathers to help better their lives and the lives of the ones they love. I for one can hold up my hand and say that i have taken the odd sickie here and there and thought nothing about it. Maybe it is time that we all stand with the sellers and use our influence as people who have a roof over our heads.

We can make a difference for these people who are less fortunate than ourselves. Not just through buying a copy, but stopping to chat and taking an interest. Lobbying our MP's and others For those businesses that the Sellers stand outside of; I often ask myself what have you done for these people? Sure you have given them permission to sell outside of your store, but is there nothing else you can do?

What greater show of commitment do you need? Can you think of any one member of your staff that shows greater commitment? Stand up and be noticed and take some corporate responsibility. Sorry to turn this political. Untimely though your death was, I hope you have found peace. Where you are now no doubt you will have a choice of any book you care to read! I've passed my on thoughts to you; and to those around you to help with your transition. Kindest regards Gary; Marlborough Road.

jdichio, Gatineau Quebec says...

My family and I are so sad to hear about Ralph. He was such a lovely man. He was never intrusive and treated everyone alike. We live abroad and when we come back to Westbourne it was always nice to see him there. My heart aches over his death.Poor man. May he rest in peace. I hope they erect a plaque or something for him in Westbourne. Judy and family, Quebec, Canada

PaulSaville, Bournemouth/Bristol says...

Thanks for all the book recommendations my friend. i hope you enjoyed all the ones I swapped with you to.You were one of the last remaining REAL people in this materialistic world. A sad loss, but we will not forget you. Rest easy. Peace.

John T, Poole says... The best tribute that could be paid to Ralph would be for his MP,Sir John Butterful, to create a memorial fund by returning the expenses he has claimed on his second home in memory of a man who did not have a first home! RIP Ralph. Book lovers never go to bed alone.

Chilcot82, Westbourne says... Ralph, Words cannot express how sad i am not seeing your face around Westbourne everyday. You were one of the rare few genuine people left in this world. I hope you are now at peace x

Sandi6, Poole says... I feel so very sad. What sort of society are we living in where the vulnerable are targets of hate. I feel so very sad. What sort of society are we living in where the vulnerable are targets of hate.

siwych, Westbourne says... Ralph,I have only lived in Westbourne for 18 months, but I would just like to say that you were an integral part of the community and my thoughts of the area. Never a day went by that I didn't see you. You are already very sadly missed. Ralph,I have only lived in Westbourne for 18 months, but I would just like to say that you were an integral part of the community and my thoughts of the area. Never a day went by that I didn't see you. You are already very sadly missed.

rogers75, Bournemouth says... RIP in Ralph, Westbourne will not be the same without you. I always admired you for being so positive. You were a special individual. I am incredibly saddened by whats happened and you will be missed by everyone who knew you. RIP in Ralph, Westbourne will not be the same without you. I always admired you for being so positive. You were a special individual. I am incredibly saddened by what’s happend and you will be missed by everyone who knew you.

Sarah MP, Glastonbury says... I worked at the Issue years and years ago and I never forgot that smile. The world is a sadder and greyer place today. Many people knew you and no-one had a bad word for you, ever. Rest Easy Lovely. Saz xI worked at the Issue years and years ago and I never forgot that smile. The world is a sadder and greyer place today. Many people knew you and no-one had a bad word for you, ever. Rest Easy Lovely. Saz x

Simon, Charminster says... RIP Ralph. You were a true gentlemen of the road. God bless you - time to rest-up.


Oooochavo, Corfe Mullen, Wimborne says... I will miss seeing you when I’m wondering around Westbourne! R.I.P - You will be sadly missed.

Mitch&Tim, Westbourne says... Ralph, Goodbye my old friend may you find happiness and peace in heaven because you do truly deserve it. Tim and I will remember you always.Ralph Goodbye my old friend may you find happiness and peace in heaven because you do truely deserve it. Tim and I will remember you always.

cbeebie, Westbourne says... RIP Farewell to a true gent, every time I saw you when you weren't selling the paper you had your head in a book. And the noise of your alarm clock in the morning would give me a time check as I stood by the side of M&S waiting for my lift! I can't believe what's happened, it's totally dreadful. I truly hope you realised how many people's lives you had touched, the tributes to you outside M&S are wonderful. RIP

BobbyPoole, Poole says...

R.I.P.

John and Gill Catanach of Westbourne says... We never got to know each others names, it was always a cheery, “ Hi mate”, from us both before we had a chat about all sorts of things, mainly books as usual. You were always engrossed in one but always took the time talk about any old thing in your soft and gentle way. We only moved to Westbourne a few months ago and you were as much a fixture in the area as M&S itself. I’ve now read more about you in the newspaper and I know your short life has been difficult but rest assured Ralph you brought a ray of sunshine into many peoples lives every day.

Martine says... You are sorely missed in Westbourne Ralph, I wish i had known you better or spared a few minutes for a chat more often. The flowers and the sadness say alot about how much people thought of you. Rest easy now X.