NOTHING separates the sexes more than luggage.

It’s obvious when you think about it. Women carry handbags in their everyday lives, men like pockets.

I can go on a trip to the USA travelling light, with just a handful of clothes and very little else.

On the other hand when my wife packs for a week in Minehead, the car is creaking under the weight of numerous cases, bags and anything else we can shoehorn into the vehicle. I’ve always felt we should hire a Sherpa at the other end to offload the luggage and carry it into the holiday cottage.

My wife packs for possible emergencies. She also includes items we may need if certain events happen, which covers about everything.

There are also things I’ve never seen before but apparently we have acquired and never used in our property and yet they too get a holiday outing. If we haven’t needed them in the last 20 years, why would we want them on holiday?

But when it comes to packing suitcases, women win hands down. I squash in two shirts and then struggle to close the lid whereas my wife will neatly fold umpteen clothes and then have room for a couple of widescreen tvs. (Well, you never know if you need them.) All of this means I struggle when I buy presents abroad. The case is full, so suddenly I inherit about eight pieces of hand luggage.

I did once try to get a huge toy robot and about 20 video games in an enormous bag through an airport scanner in the US.

Obviously, it didn’t fit despite me trying to squeeze it through. So in the end, every item had to come out and be placed on the conveyor belt, much to the annoyance of the large number of passengers queuing behind me.

Unfortunately the activity set off the robot, whose eyes lit up and he began to emit laser shooting noises. Airport staff were not amused.

Also, I’ve learned not to put hand luggage in with my main luggage. Following a transatlantic trip I was standing at the baggage carousel at 4am waiting for a small green bag that never arrived.

Once I’d realised all the other bags had gone, I inquired about my missing luggage. After airport staff had a 30-minute conversation with baggage handlers it emerged what had happened to my green holdall.

Apparently, it was so light it couldn’t push through the plastic curtains to make it on to the conveyor belt and had got stuck the other side. Now if only my wife had packed a widescreen tv in there.