PLAGIARISM? Coldplay? Can it be true? It appears a small American band by the name of Creaky Boards reckon the title track here rips them well and truly off. Well I'll go you one better. Go to youtube and type in "Alizee Francesita". The top result, I think you'll find, is rather closer to the mark.

But allegations aside, Viva La Vida is hardly a step forward for Chris Martin and his chums, but I suspect few of his fans would welcome an album of death metal anyway, so maybe it's for the best.

Standouts are Cemetaries of London and the Bhangra-infused Yes, but there's nothing horrible here apart from some of the lyrics: "Those who are dead, are not dead, they're just living in my head."

Oh Christopher...