A ROVERS Return on every corner?

Just when you thought Britain was starting to see sense about alcohol intake, here's comes another rum idea to encourage us to drink more!

But wait, surely this is different?

A theme pub based on my favourite soap opera and with all the little touches that make the real thing so special.

Brassy woman knocking back pints at lunchtime before heading back to the factory to again take charge of powerful and potentially dangerous machines?

A God-fearing seventy-something (Emily Bishop) who's in the place as often as the pub owner downing her favourite sherry?

A kebab shop-owning Liverpudlian who's so fat he warrants his own postcode?

A Morticia Addams-lookalike slurping glass after glass of red wine and trying to ruin the relationship of her ex-husband's brother for whom she secretly yearns?

A former newspaper editor whose career path took such a downward spiral that he ended up shifting trollies at Freshco and collecting pots in the café?

Add to that a tangled web of family turmoil involving babies swapped at birth, a gay barman who's the father of the barmaid's newly-born son but is likely never to see him again and a barking mad homicidal/suicidal teenager whose dim and insipid mother allows him free rein to sleep with his girlfriend in the family home whenever he wants?

And you want to put one of these in a beautiful and much-loved coastal resort with an identity crisis that has absolutely no idea what it is, what it wants to be or what it's going to be?

Mind you, it could be worse - it could be the Queen Vic-themed pub chain...