Headstone left discarded after replacement in Poole Cemetery

Virgil Howe said he “burst into tears” when he realised his mother’s original headstone, which also bears the name of his nephew, had been left on its back a stone’s throw away from her final resting place after being replaced around 10 years ago.

Margery Howe died in 1963 from cancer at the age of 42. She was buried in Poole Cemetery along with her grandson Mark, who died at just three-and-a-half years old. The headstone remained in place for more than 40 years until Virgil’s older brother – who lives in America – paid for a new stone to be erected with the additional names of his grandparents.

Virgil, 77 and of Parkstone, was visiting his mother’s resting place in June with his partner to lay fresh flowers. His partner began looking around the immediate vicinity in search of a water tap for the flowers.

Discarded headstone of the late Margery Howe and her grandson Mark in Poole Cemetery

Upon inspecting an area several metres away from the grave, Virgil’s partner made a startling discovery.

“She freaked out, she shrieked for me to come over and read the name on this dumped headstone,” said an emotional Virgil.

“I couldn’t believe it. It just blew me away, totalled me completely. When I saw that stone just left there, I burst into tears – how can it be left like that?”

The retired bricklayer believes the stonemason hired by his brother to replace the original headstone “just wanted to get shot of it” and threw it into the nearby hedge instead of disposing of it properly.

Newer headstone of Virgil Howe's family (foreground) and the original headstone left discarded (circled in background)

He says he and his family didn’t notice the discarded stone sooner due to the fact the hedge had covered it for many years, as did overgrown grass, until a recent cutting.

After losing his mother at a young age, Virgil struggled with addiction. However, he is now more than 22 years clean but says incidents like this “bring you back to earth”.

He added: “I think it’s diabolical. Firstly that they did that, and then that the groundskeepers didn’t notice there was an overturned grave when they were cutting around it.

“I felt anger and hate at first but that slowly developed into more sadness. It’s a sad place anyway to come but funnily enough I like it here. I like the peacefulness and the solitude. But to do what they did, what is more disrespectful than that?”

Virgil says he hopes by speaking out it will encourage others to check they have not had a similar instance happened to one of their loved one’s graves.

Parkstone resident Virgil Howe

The phone number given by the stonemason to Virgil’s brother is no longer in service.

A BCP Council spokesperson said: “We are disappointed to learn that the previous memorial appears to have been discarded within cemetery grounds and not removed by the stonemason appointed at the time by the family and we can understand the upset that this may have caused the resident and his family.

“The local authority does not provide a stonemason service, as it is the responsibility of the grave owner to install and maintenance memorials which would be in accordance with any instruction given to a stonemason or funeral director who has acted on their behalf. This would include the removal of any previous headstones.

“We would suggest that the resident gets in touch with Bereavement Services so we can advise on how the family wishes can be achieved.”