COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.
NOT SURE WHO THE FATHER OF MY SON IS
During a rough patch in the early years of my marriage, I had a very brief fling with an old boyfriend. I’d gone home to be with my parents for a while to clear my head, and all I ended up doing was putting my marriage under even more pressure. In the end, we patched it up, and now we have a wonderful marriage. The problem is, I don’t know which man is the biological father of my son.

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He’s now seven years old and my husband loves him to bits. I have lived with this knowledge all this time, but for some reason, it has started to really prey on my mind recently. Part of me thinks my son has every right to know who his biological father is, and that I should do all I can to find out.
However, I also think about all the horrible ways this could play out once my son and my husband find out.

Bournemouth Echo:
FIONA SAYS: The only way to know for sure is via DNA testing. In the UK, doing a DNA paternity test would require the consent of the adult providing samples. Therefore, you would really need to have a conversation about it with your husband, if you want him to be the one undergoing tests.
The longer you leave this, the more devastating the consequences could be if further down the line, your husband and son discover they are not biologically related.
You say your marriage is good and you husband loves your son, so I can understand why you wouldn’t want to jeopardise this. I can also understand why you are finding it difficult to come to terms with the pressure of keeping your secret, and I fear that continuing to do so might well jeopardise things anyway. I would encourage you to talk to a counsellor before you broach this with your husband, but I do believe you’re going to have to tell him eventually.
What your husband decides to do once he knows, I can’t say - he may be angry, it may destroy your marriage, especially if testing shows he is not your son’s father. Hopefully though, he will love you and your son enough to forgive you.
CAN MY EX-WIFE STOP ME SEEING MY CHILDREN?
After my divorce four years ago, my wife gained full custody of our two children (now aged 14 and 12). At first, I was able to see them regularly, but over time it has become increasingly difficult. It seems there is always something else they MUST do, rather than see me.
It's always poor excuses, and it’s happening more and more often. It’s as though I am being deliberately excluded. I know my ex has started seeing someone else, and I am worried that she expects him to take over the role of being father to my children. Can she deny me access to my children like this?
FIONA SAYS: HAVE YOU SAT DOWN TO TALK IT THROUGH?
My first suggestion would be to have a proper discussion with your ex-wife and explain how you are feeling. Try to do this calmly, and without being confrontational or angry. 
You may have to work harder at meeting them on their terms. 
Write to help@askfiona.net for advice.