COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

I’VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY BOYFRIEND’S MATE

My boyfriend and I are going to Spain on holiday this summer. The problem is, he wants one of his mates, whose father has just died, to come too. My boyfriend feels sorry for him and thinks it will cheer the guy up - but he doesn’t know I had a real steamy affair for a while with this guy!

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What’s more, I still really like him, and I think he likes me too as we slept together the other week when I went to see him to say how sorry I was about his dad. I didn’t mean to, it just happened.

FIONA SAYS: WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON?

I think this holiday stands a real risk of turning into a disaster, and you clearly don’t know which of these two men you really want to be with! What do you think your boyfriend’s reaction will be if he finds out you have slept with his friend? Not good, I’m sure, and I think you have recognised that things could easily get out of hand.

Bournemouth Echo:

Be aware that, fuelled by holiday alcohol, the fact you’ve been with both of them might come out, and your boyfriend might well be very unhappy about it.

Meanwhile, take a good look at yourself so you can figure out how you really feel. It may be that neither of them is right for you.

MY MARRIAGE IS IN A RUT

After 20 years of marriage, I feel as if my husband and I are stuck in a rut. We both work hard, and the long hours mean when we get in from work, we end up flopped in front of the TV, rather than talking about things as we used to.

Bournemouth Echo:

We’ve got three lovely children, but they are all off doing their own thing these days. I thought that would mean we’d have more time with one another, but it doesn’t seem to have worked out that way.

I love my husband, but I am so bored, so how do I spark things up again?

FIONA SAYS: YOU CAN GET THE SPARK BACK

Many marriages reach a stage where the couples feel things between them are stale, often because they stop trying.

It’s not really anyone’s fault, just a case of over-familiarity and a hectic lifestyle. Whilst you may not be able to recapture the early days of your relationship, it is possible to making things sparkle once more.

It does require both of you to try however, so I suggest that one night soon - not when he is watching his favourite programme though - that you turn off the TV. Tell your husband that you miss the chats you used to have together and want to just sit and talk for a while.

I suggest you keep things positive and be careful not to criticise.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.