COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

MY BROTHER-IN-LAW WAS HARASSING ME

From very early on in my marriage, my brother-in-law indicated that he fancied me. I made it clear that I wasn’t interested, and nothing ever came of it, but I did avoid him whenever I could. My husband may have suspected something but never said anything.

His brother started calling at our flat whenever my husband was at work. Again, I told him I wasn’t interested and asked him not to come around, but that didn’t stop him.

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The last time he called, I tried to shut the door on him, but he put his foot in it to stop me. I’m afraid I got so scared that I rang my mother-in-law. Instead of offering to help, she accused me of living in a fantasy world; we ended up having a furious row on the phone and haven’t spoken to each other since.

I told my husband when he got home and instead of supporting me, he said that I should have spoken to him first before sounding off to his mother.

I feel so angry that I am being treated as the guilty party in this.

FIONA SAYS: YOU’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG

Please don’t feel that you’ve done anything wrong here.

You made it clear that your brother-in-law’s visits weren’t welcomed - so if anyone’s to blame, it’s him.

I can’t help but wonder if your husband’s family know only too well what sort of a person he is, and have simply closed ranks against you in his defence. Instead of trying to mend bridges with them, I feel you would be better served trying to put your marriage back on track.

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVEN’T HAD SEX FOR YEARS

I have been married for seven years, and apart from the few weeks after my marriage, have not made love to my husband since - we don’t even hug very much these days.

It’s not for lack of trying, but if I try to be affectionate, he moves away and says, at our age, we are past all that. I am only 42 and he is 49 and we have no other problems.

FIONA SAYS: COMMUNICATION IS VITAL

It sounds as though there might be an enormous physical and emotional gulf between you, which needs to be addressed if there is any chance of rescuing your marriage. I don’t know what has caused this rift, but whilst you’ve tried to tackle the problem, he won’t even talk about it.

If he won’t talk about it, then I think you need to get help.

Email Fiona by writing to help@askfiona.net for advice.