COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

I LOST MY RAG AND THREW AN ORNAMENT AT MY HUSBAND

I don’t know what to do about my husband. We both married late in life, and are set in our ways.

The problem is that he won’t say what’s on his mind; he hates any sort of disagreement and sometimes I’ve screamed at him in frustration when he won’t tell me what’s bothering him. All he does is retreat to his music until the problem goes away!

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I really can’t cope with this, and last week I completely lost my rag and threw an ornament at him. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but it caught the side of his head and cut him badly above the eye. I don’t know who was the more shocked, but all he did what press a towel to his head and ask me to drive him to the hospital.

Now I’m frightened that I’ve gone too far and will become some sort of husband batterer. I really didn’t mean to hurt him and don’t want him to leave me, but he hasn’t spoken to me since the incident. What can I do?

FIONA SAYS: VIOLENCE IS NEVER OK

I can understand that you might find your husband’s behaviour frustrating but resorting to violence is completely wrong.

If you haven’t already done so an apology may go some way to at least opening a dialogue again, but I imagine he was deeply shocked by what happened.

Whilst he needs to learn how to open up to you and share his feelings, perhaps you also need to learn to respect his silences. This may not be easy for either of you, but some sessions with a counsellor would probably help.

I would also encourage you to consider an anger-management course of some kind too.

MY TWIN SISTER’S NEW BOYFRIEND IS CONSTANTLY IN OUR HOME

My identical twin sister and I have been living together for a year. We usually spend a lot of time together, such as cooking, watching tv, going out for dinner or drinks, etc. She recently got a new boyfriend and they have been together for a month. He has stayed over at our place every single night since then, and I feel like my privacy is being invaded. When he is around, she acts like I don’t exist. He does not pitch in around the house or clean up his mess.

FIONA SAYS: TELL THEM YOU’RE NOT HAPPY

Just tell them what you’ve told me - that you don’t feel welcome in your home any more. Tell them you feel like you no longer have any privacy and that you would like some time and space in your own home, so if it can’t be with them around then you will have to move out.

Email help@askfiona.net