Columnist and trained counsellor Fiona Caine offers guidance to a woman whose husband has ‘let himself go’ and another devastated by betrayal.

MY HUSBAND HAS REALLY LET HIMSELF GO IN LOCKDOWN

Whilst we’ve been in lockdown and my husband has been working from home, he’s become feral! He’s stopped showering, has let his hair grow and grow and he’s put on weight.

He looks completely different and seems unconcerned about the impact on his health. To begin with he was at least walking most days, but since we get into winter he’s barely been out of the house. He binge-watches TV.

He’s only in his early-40s, but he looks a good 10 years older.

FIONA SAYS: DON’T MAKE HIM FEEL WORSE

Your husband isn’t the only person to have let himself go - and we mustn’t be too hard on ourselves and each other for that. These are tough times. The pandemic has caused depression in many - and it’s certainly possible this is what he's feeling.

Use the new year to try to galvanise him into doing something. Suggest that the two of you tackle a project or take up something you can do together that will keep you both active. Why not also suggest showering or bathing together?

I would really encourage you to get out for a daily walk. Dig deep and remember the man you love is still in there.

I CAUGHT MY HUSBAND AND COUSIN HAVING SEX

I work as a nurse, while my husband has been working from home. My cousin has been part of our bubble and I was happy to have her around.

She was often there when I came home, and I didn’t think anything of it. However, last week I got in early to find my husband and her having sex. I was so stunned that I just screamed and ran back to my car.

I feel so confused and hurt and there’s no one I can talk to about this.

FIONA SAYS: THEY’VE BOTH BETRAYED YOUR TRUST

You’ve been hurt very badly by two people that you have, until now, loved and trusted without question. They’ve betrayed that trust, and what you do next will largely depend on whether you’re prepared to forgive your husband. If you’re not, then divorce would seem to be the obvious solution.

These are extraordinary times though, and some people are behaving in ways that they would normally never do. If you do think you might want to attempt to rescue your marriage, then you will have to talk about what has happened, perhaps with a counsellor.