COME on, be honest, were you aware of the existence of the Royal Statistical Society? No? Well, don't worry, because you're not alone. Far from it.

In fact, 68 per cent of people don't know about the RSS, compared with the 17 per cent that do.

Twelve per cent, meanwhile, not only don't know that they don't know about the RSS, they routinely don't know anything about anything at all - with a staggering three per cent claiming not only to have been abducted by the society, but also to have been probed in a particularly painful way.

I myself can confidently lay claim to having for a long while (27 per cent of my current life-span) been a supporter (76 per cent supportive, give or take) of the society.

Some (32 per cent) may say that's as a result of the society's announcement of its latest awards for statistical excellence in journalism.

Others (an astonishingly coincidental 32 per cent) may, on the other hand, disagree. (Twelve per cent "strongly" disagree, with a further seven per cent in "mild disagreement", unless you're from the West Midlands, in which case, you're more likely to "considerably" or "disgruntedly" agree to disagree.) Still with me? That means you're among the 41 per cent that "inspidly" support the finding that there are lies, damn lies and statistics.

And, fingers crossed, that gives me a better than one in five chance of winning an RSS award, but only if I can improve on my one in 25 award scheme entrance ratio - admittedly not great, but still enough to out-perform 43.5 per cent of my colleagues.

Which, in anyone's money, would be twice as nice even if it were only half as good - and what are the odds on that happening?

I'm sure the Royal Statistical Society would know the answer to that one. Can I have my award now, please?