SPRAY tans, silicone boobs, blonde hair extensions, towering heels - it can only be the Wags, a word which used to be an acronym but now, says sports writer Alison Kervin, has become the career of choice for a certain type of British lay-dee.

"It's a complete throwback to the early part of the last century when women married into a lifestyle," she says.

But lucrative for Alison, who has wrung a six-figure, two-book deal out of her publisher for The Wags Diary and The Wags Diary 2, fictionalised accounts of the Wags' celebrated invasion of Baden-Baden, during last year's World Cup and of the Beckhams' move to Hollywood.

Not that Alison, an award-winning writer already, would want anyone to think she subscribes to the Wag philosophy. "A Wag is a superchav really," she says. "They can't have enough big jewellery, big hair, fake tan, or make-up. Nothing is understated. They look great but not classy. They want to outshine each other. It's about being bigger, brasher and bolder."

Brave words indeed from someone who has painted the town red with the Wags and who has interviewed a number of them. Kervin asked them why they opted for such lives. They, apparently, found her question a no-brainer. "What's not to enjoy about having as much money as you can possibly spend and being in the papers?" they said.

However, as Kervin points out, apart from the chosen few, like Coleen McLoughlin and Victoria Beckham - who apparently don't regard themselves as Wags, anyway - the women's positions are entirely dependent on their husband's performance on the pitch. If he goes off her or is moved to a town with no designer shops, a Wag's career can be stopped in its tracks.

"They also hate their husbands being seen as sex symbols. While you're going out with them it's fab but once you're married with kids and hubby's all over the paper draped with sexy girls, it's hugely threatening," says Kervin. "The Wags live in fear of it."

They combat that by ensuring they keep their looks. Or, rather their "look". Kervin says Wags tend to be skinny with long blonde hair, deep spray tans and always wearing clothes in white or pink.

"Many have had boob jobs and are really skinny," she says. "It looks as if they are going to topple over. You can't imagine them in a simple navy blue A-line shift dress. It would be in candy-floss pink with shortened hems and big wedge heels. They want labels to be clearly demonstrated."

But, given that a footballer's career usually ends by the time he's 35, it's a given that a Wag's must be. "They need to sort out something while they are in the spotlight," says Kervin. "It's hard to imagine they will settle back into domesticity."