IS IT just me or is Sir Alex Ferguson beginning to sound like someone’s mad old granddad?

From the extracts of his autobiography revealed so far, it would appear he’s morphed from football’s elder statesman into the man who shouts at the telly.

If it isn’t David Beckham and his beanie hat, it’s Victoria Beckham and the ‘big problem’ it caused Sir Alex when David fell in love with her.

“That changed everything,” he wails.

Didn’t he realise that falling in love and wanting to keep your wife happy was quite normal for men living in the latter half of the 20th century?

Or, more likely, didn’t anyone have the nerve to tell him?

Ferguson retired at the top of his game, a millionaire with nothing left to prove.

But he reeks of disenchantment and bitterness and never more so than when he attempts his ludicrous take-down of David Beckham, claiming he squandered his opportunity to become ‘an absolute, top-dog player’. Really?

At least we now know why Posh always looked like she was chewing a wasp.

Because, like Princess Diana, it sounds like there were three people in her marriage: David, her, and a bad-tempered Glaswegian.

And while I bet she longed to let rip she probably kept schtum for David’s sake – admirable, because I don’t think I would.

But then I have never got Sir Alex. I’ve never understood why everyone faffs and fawns and hangs on his every word.

Yes, he was a successful manager; the silverware cupboard is undeniably full.

But that was his job, for pity’s sake, for which he was rewarded handsomely.

It’s like congratulating a plumber for installing a load of toilets or a street-sweeper for picking up litter.

All Ferguson has done, it would appear to me, is turn up, hit his targets and do the inevitable charity stuff required of people in his position.

It may be news to his addled acolytes but a lot of people do this as part of their daily lives, including a man called Harry Redknapp. But then he’s donating the profits from HIS autobiography to the Bobby Moore Cancer Fund.

  • PS At least Fergie’s enemies know what to get him for Christmas. I predict a mysterious spike in the sales of LA Galaxy beanie hats....