NEVER MIND whether he described the Nigella Lawson assault as a ‘fleeting thing’ (he says he didn’t and absolutely condemns domestic violence), it was Nick Clegg appearing to suggest he hadn’t seen all the shocking images which enraged me.

He’s the deputy prime minister for pity’s sake. It’s his duty to know what’s in the papers, especially when it’s an issue that concerns women everywhere.

Nick Clegg hasn’t explained this part of his thinking but I suspect that if he really hasn’t seen all the pictures then part of it may be the general squeamishness about middle-class domestic abuse.

Like the poor, domestic abuse is always with us. But unlike poverty, it happens to middle-class people, too.

So while I feel desperately sorry for Nigella Lawson, whoever took those images of her throat being squeezed by her husband, Charles Saatchi, has performed a giant service for her and for bullied women everywhere.

There must have been thousands who, on seeing those photos of an anguished Nigella; Saatchi’s hand around her neck, apparently pinching her nose, and then her crumpled, tearful face, will have realised they are looking into a mirror of their own relationship.

In an explanation of monumental patheticness, Saatchi said: “About a week ago, we were sitting outside a restaurant having an intense debate about the children, and I held Nigella’s neck repeatedly while attempting to emphasise my point.

“There was no grip, it was a playful tiff. The pictures are horrific but give a far more drastic and violent impression of what took place. Nigella’s tears were because we both hate arguing, not because she had been hurt.”

Really? That’ll be why he accepted a police caution for assault, then. That’ll be why his wife and her children have left the house and apparently not returned.

And perhaps that’ll also be why, at time of writing, Nigella Lawson still has not made any comment about all this and appears to have removed her wedding ring.

Of course most men who behave like this are not papped at posh restaurants. They get away with it because those on the receiving end are so ground down they accept it.

It’s only when things burst out and comment is made that women realise that what they are experiencing is unacceptable and that they should not have to put up with it.

But neither should we put up with it too.

I know from personal experience that you never get thanked for intervening in domestic unpleasantness.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

At the very least it may indicate to the victim that what is happening to them is wrong and from that they main gain the courage to take action.

Only then will they discover, like Nigella Lawson, they are not alone.

  • National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247