IS IT just me or does ‘2013’ sound just plain weird? Like something out of Star Trek, or Dr Who. I’ve written it a few times; on cheques to the vet, or to the plumber, or in my notebook, but four weeks in it still doesn’t look right.

But there are lots of things like that; you know they exist, you know they happen but you still just can’t get your head round why.

In that spirit I thought I’d just put this lot out there, you know, just in case anyone has any idea about it all, or understands the reasons why… …people get tattoos in memory of lost loved ones. Surely they must feel sad every time they look at it?

…when all you ever hear is that there aren’t enough fashions and designs for British woman sized 16, the sale rails at Monsoon and Markies and everywhere else are always groaning with this size whereas the ones labelled size 10 look as though they’ve been stripped by a pack of piranhas?

... does that Sally who does the Breakfast TV sports appear to giggle embarrassingly apropos nothing at all? It’s got so bad I’m starting to look out for it.

... do David Cameron and Nick Clegg persist in their tragic and deluded belief that we believe a word either of them says about anything?

Especially when it’s that bunkum about us being all in it together?

Memo to Nick and Dave: No one’s fooled, as you will soon realise at the next election… …does time speed up the older you get? Because everything else slows down.

... do people complain about hot cross buns and Cadbury’s Mini-Eggs being in the shops on New Year’s Day? So what if they are? Because it’s not like you’re forced to eat them or anything, is it?

…do people enjoy fox-hunting?

…do most delivery companies persist in the quaint belief that ladies are delighted to be confined to their homes between the hours of 8am and 6pm merely to receive a parcel?

And why do retailers blithely send out parcels without explaining that they can only be handed over if there is someone to sign for them?

... are we taught to fear global warming when, going by the state of the ‘weather’ when I wrote this, it’s the words ‘cloudy and mild’ which ought to strike fear into our hearts?

Talk about 50 Shades of Grey...

…do we describe as ‘life’ the prison sentences handed out to the scum who murder little children, or beat old ladies senseless for two quid, when really we mean ‘six years’?

... do certain newspapers moan every time Kate Middleton’s mum sells something with the word ‘princess’ emblazoned upon it on her website? Mrs Middleton has been peddling party pieces for decades now. It’s why Kate’s family are selfsupporting and why William’s family still lives orf the state.

…half the white lines are missing from the roads in Dorset and Hampshire? It’s a complete nightmare for people driving at night.

.. are the companies that manufacture the ink for my computer printer allowed to charge roughly the same for it as a bottle of Krug, yet a jar of Quink only costs £3?

... doesn’t Victoria Beckham smile?

Ever? Not even, it would appear, at her own cute little baby.

..do councillors get pensions on top of their inflated expenses allowances? Did anyone vote for that? Were any of us asked?

... do the folk that support Chelsea FC spend all their time complaining about the manager? Shouldn’t they have realised by now it’s the team that are all wrong?

... do people find Frankie Boyle amusing?

... won’t the Pope admit his church has a worrying child molestation problem and DO something about it?

...did George Osborne remove child benefit from families where one person earns over £43,000 a year but not from ones where two people earn £86,000 a year between them?

...do men who are driving at 75mph on the motorway jam on the brakes when they see a cop car in the slow lane and then tuck in behind them?

Do they really think the police haven’t clocked them? And do they really think the police are going to arrest them for that?

... Katie Price/Kerry Katona/ Kim Kardashian/Honey Boo Boo? I mean, WHY?