HEY folks! Lets’ all huddle together on the beaches and spread the virus as much as possible. Then we’ll have another lovely lockdown so we can spend more time on the beach! And we’ll crash the economy further so more of us will lose our jobs and spend even more time on the beach!

OK, a few older people will die, but who cares? They don’t like the beach anyway. This is such a great idea why don’t we do it every summer?

ANTHONY ROBIN DAVIES

Bracken Close, Ashley Heath