So, Big Band Night. On the face of it, a brave piece of programming. Almost Reithian in its "let’s introduce the masses to music they’ve never heard before" chutzpah.

Right up to the part where Simon decides it’s all a bit much for us prols and has Jamie "Go with the ’Fro" Archer sing a U2 song.

All credit to the Dubliners for writing a tune that can be adapted to a number of styles. But Big Band?

I was with Louis on this one (and it’s not often I can say that) but then he legged it down from the moral high ground by having the twins do Ricky Martin’s She Bangs.

And Rachel’s Proud Mary? Oh, and Love Don’t Live Here Anymore with a rap by the soon-to-exit-stage-left Miss Frank? Oh, and soppy Disney ballad, When You Wish Upon a Star?

I could go on.

And I will.

What’s the point in having themed nights if the judges aren’t going to stick to them? Whatever next? NWA on Disco Night?

To add insult to injury, Jamie’s last-minute switch to Angel of Harlem was orchestrated to wring the maximum amount of self-created drama out of the situation.

Louis was totally on the money speaking out against the "we only had 24 hrs to prepare" nonsense. Simon, you were out of order. But as usual, you knew exactly what you were doing. Louis, you had him right where you wanted him… then you blew it.

Anyway, back to the sideshow that is the actual competition.

I thought Rachel was the most improved over last week. And Olly was cool. Big Band totally suited him.

But oh, the twins. I don’t know which annoys me more, their inability to sing or their rubbish attempts at dancing. Or their hair (which, I read, is catching on among the Irish capital’s 15-year-olds). Or is it just their sheer front at actually turning up each week?

Now here in the blogosphere (I hate that word almost as much as twitterati and all those other new words which begin with twit- or tweet-) opinion is divided between those who’d have the tone deaf twosome flung in the Liffey and those who want to keep them in the show on the grounds that they’re just soo entertaining.

Oh, and that it annoys Simon far more than he’s letting on.

On talent alone the boys would be gone by now. And keeping them is, granted, very funny.

But their survival on those grounds means sacrificing someone who can actually carry a tune for three minutes, someone who can hoof slightly better than a gazelle with three broken legs.

And without them I’d just have to turn on Lloyd, and that’s just cruel.

The whole thing is so, well… British. Do you think for a second an American version of the show would keep lame ducks at the expense of someone with more talent? Hell no! (As I’m sure they’d, quite literally, say.) But then, Americans are so po-faced about everything, aren’t they?

So maybe keeping the twins in until the last minute (when we’ll surely dump them… won’t we?) is a celebration of our Britishness, even though they’re not even British. But maybe that just underlines the whole point?