COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

SHOULD I LEAVE MY WIFE?

I met my wife 11 years ago and I loved her so much that I did everything for her, but then I gradually began to notice I was getting nothing in return.

We decided to have a child and I have always had to do a lot of the childcare from the beginning, as she didn’t seem particularly interested. Over time, this lack of interest has got worse - she seems increasingly indifferent to our son, who is now 10.

She shouts at him a lot and I think she hits him too - although I’ve not seen her do so. She doesn’t even feed him properly.

It’s always been down to me to get him ready for school and I usually cook the evening meal when I get back from work, on top of holding down a busy job. She resents having had to give her up job and blames him for ‘ruining her life'.

Apart from worrying about my son, I feel used, angry and betrayed and I’m wondering if I should leave and take my son with me or force her to leave?

FIONA SAYS: THIS DOESN’T SOUND HEALTHY FOR YOUR SON

Whilst I am concerned for you and your wife, I'm most worried about your young son. The rejection it sounds like he he is facing from his mother could cause long-term emotional damage.

He needs to know he is loved and it seems his mother is unwilling or unable to provide that for him.

If she won’t seek urgent help for her emotional problems and turn around her poisonous relationship with her child, then I feel you are right to consider separating.

DID I MAKE A MISTAKE LEAVING MY SON?

Three years ago, I left my partner of 30 years for the man I’d been having an affair with, and we are still together. Although I wanted him to come with me, my son of 12 decided to stay with his father.

Leaving my son was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I still wake up feeling guilty about it. If I had known the fallout, I’m not sure I would have gone through with it.

I love my current partner but cannot feel fully happy, as there is always a sadness about my old life and what I’ve done.

FIONA SAYS: YOU’LL GET THERE

Being apart from your child is hard. If both you and your ex were unhappy together though, your son might feel a whole lot better, if he thinks both you and his dad are happier now than you were before. It is surely up to you, therefore, to make the very best of the life you have chosen.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.