MY NEW HUSBAND LEFT ME DURING LOCKDOWN

I’d only known my husband for six months before we got married last October, and when we were in lockdown together things fell apart. As a result, after nine months of marriage, he left me.

He simply decided he wasn’t ready to settle down after all - and I’m devastated. He left me left alone and isolated, as I can’t go back to my family as my mum’s recovering from cancer treatment.

I’m really struggling to come to terms with being dumped like this.

Nothing is normal right now and although my mum and dad keep suggesting I go around to see them, how can I put my mum at risk? I’m working from home and the only people I see are on Zoom. Even if I could get out and about, it’s the last thing I feel like doing right now.

Will life ever get back to some kind of normal, and will I ever get over this?

 

FIONA SAYS: YOU’RE NOT ALONE

Many relationships have suffered during this time - you are certainly not alone. Being cooped up together has made people think differently about their lives, and some, like your husband, have taken the decision that it’s not what they want.

At the moment you’re feeling rejected and hurt, but you will get over this. Your husband was, perhaps, a little too immature to face the commitment of being with the same person for the rest of his life. At least he faced this before you had children together, which would have made things even harder.

Starting out again is hard - and starting out again now, when you can’t really meet people face-to-face as usual, is especially difficult. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

There are numerous social activities taking place using Zoom and other video-conferencing platforms - from virtual dinner parties to virtual dates.

I would suggest you start by contacting Relate (relate.org.uk). Their counsellors will help you look at your relationship in perhaps different ways, so you can move forward.

Opening up to other people - including friends - might bring opportunities you hadn’t expected.

As for the isolation from your family, I wish there was some comfort I could offer you there.

However, if you were to isolate yourself completely for two weeks, could you not move in with your parents after that? You wouldn’t have had the opportunity to contract the virus from anyone that way, so you wouldn’t be risking your mother’s health.