MANY years from now, grandfathers will sit their grandchildren down in front of a roaring log fire and regale them with stories of yesteryear.

For example, who won X Factor in 2008 will be a particular favourite. Followed by ‘did you really eat instant mash, grandad’?

But there will be one story they will return to time and time again. Perhaps it’s too terrifying for young people to contemplate, let alone hear. It will certainly scare them half to death.

Nevertheless, like any good cautionary tale it should be told as a warning to future generations.

It won’t be the bogeyman that will keep them up at night, but Brexit. A sinister story that chills everybody to the bone. Just the mere mention of it can send shivers down your spine.

Or in a different scenario it could be a father sitting his son down saying:”Son, at your age I think there’s something you should know.”

“Oh, dad, I’ve had that chat at school.”

“No, son, even more embarrassing than that. It’s the B word. Brexit.”

“Dad, I thought you said swearing was bad.”

Yesterday, some people had been aiming to pop Champagne corks, they would have been holding celebratory parties. But the fizz is on hold, no balloons have been blown up. March 29 has come and gone and we’re still talking about Brexit.

And if truth be told, I think we’re going to be talking about it for quite some time. I honestly can’t see an end in sight.

The subject has sparked heated debate on both sides of the argument. Opinions are polarised, no-one’s willing to give an inch.

It has taken over from the weather as our national obsession. And just like the weather it changes every day.

It’s like a bad episode of Blackadder. “Baldrick, at last we’ve seen through Brexit, 2016-2018.”

If we do find our way out of this black hole, then the whole experience can be turned into a disaster movie. Brexit would be a box office hit.

I think Meryl Streep will be perfect as Mrs May. Although she has already played the Iron Lady. But I’m not too sure people would turn up for the sequels.

Or it could be turned into a musical production for the theatre. After all, Brexit is the only show in town.

Some Abba songs would be great. The Winner Takes It All springs to mind. Money Money Money, obviously and perhaps Mrs May would fancy Dancing Queen. Or maybe not.

But I think some people are just enjoying this farce far too much.

And does anybody know what will happen to all the people who stand outside the Houses of Parliament every day waving flags and banners? Where will they go? What will they do?

Have they jobs or homes to go to? I think we should be told.

Can you actually remember pre-Brexit? Yes, there was an age before this. People would be civil to one another. They would ask after your Great Aunt Maude or how the extension work was going.

Now we’re at war with each other.

“I’m not inviting him round. He’s a Brexiteer. He won’t eat Camembert.”

Or “She’s not on my list anymore. Remainers hate roast dinners.”

Can we ever get back to the times when families would discuss Corrie rather than the EU?

Although most of this sounds ridiculous, it’s not as ridiculous as the pantomime being played out in the House of Commons.

The great irony of Brexit was that Leavers voted for sovereignty and for Parliament to have control.

The thing is most MPs don’t seem to want it.

Why Brexit can’t go away is that we have been talking about whether we should be in a European Union for around 50 years. There’s no magic switch to turn it off.

If the majority vote does prevail and we end up leaving, Remainers won’t just pack up and go away.

And of course, if there’s another referendum and Remain wins, Leavers won’t say: “Well done chaps, I fully support you.”

No, this debate has still some way to go. It is set to run and run.

So while the rest of you get your teeth into the various merits or demerits of Brexit, the backstop, the customs union, what plus plus you want, indicative votes, archaic laws, shouting in the House, I’ll just turn the channel over and see if there’s something worth watching.

And by the way, turn out the light when you leave or remain.