MY name is Simon Morley and I am a creator of the comedy show Puppetry Of The Penis, which I see is causing somewhat of a storm in town.

We have played the Pavilion Theatre at Bournemouth countless times over the last 15 years and very much enjoy returning to entertain your more liberal-minded residents every year.

We thank the bookers and staff of the theatre for bringing us back and to all those who support us every year by buying tickets.

For the record, the show is a non-sexual, hilarious vaudevillian romp that has now played to over 35 countries, been performed in over five languages, and has sold millions of tickets.

For those who object to our signage, as a parent of young ones myself, I see absolutely no harm whatsoever in them reading the word penis.

It will more than likely induce some chuckles, at worst you might have to have a conversation with your child, a conversation you probably already should have had.

The signs are anatomically correct and surely much less offensive that most of the street graffiti they are subjected to every day.

Our mission is not to offend, it is to liberate and spread laughter and joy. If you still have an issue with us coming to town, then I have one simple answer. Don’t buy a ticket.

SIMON MORLEY, Weston, Connecticut, USA