FORGIVE me for mentioning it but there’s a saucy joke circulating right now that claims research has revealed there are two sizes of ‘John Thomas’ among men in England. There are those that fall within a normal size range and those of an extremely small dimension.

The research professor has appealed for help to continue his research by asking all men in England in the smaller range to make themselves known by flying a white flag with a red cross from their cars.

I know it’s just a gag but it’s basic premise is wrong. It is good to fly the England flag. If I had one, I would happily fly it right now, so what does that say about me? (Don’t answer that, Mrs Perkins.) Some may snobbily snipe at flag-wavers but I delight in seeing them fluttering from cars. After the disappointment of England’s draw on Saturday and all the griping about the match, it was heartening to see that England’s steadfast fans never stopped flying flags.

Apart from the pride in seeing so many keeping the faith, no matter how far England progress, what fills me with most pleasure is seeing that our flag has been recovered from its associations with far right political extremists. Patriotism is back where it belongs with decent English people, of every creed and colour, whose tradition is of tolerance and understanding.

Oh and one last word on that goal we conceded in the England v USA match. As someone texted Radio Five Live, at least that’s one spill that the Americans haven’t complained about.