Can you stomach the sight? (From Bournemouth Echo)

Can you stomach the sight?

8:00am Saturday 4th July 2009 in

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GO down to any Bournemouth or Poole beach on a sunny day and you can certainly see some amazing sights.

And I’m not talking about the Needles and Old Harry Rocks.

I am referring to what looks like a Himalayan range of male sunbathers’ oversized bellies horribly revealed for all to endure.

Don’t get me wrong. There are, doubtless, very sound medical reasons why some people carry excess baggage and my full sympathy to them.

I’m certainly no male Twiggy. Indeed, there are many who say my best side is the one I sit on. And I’m carrying a paunch like a kangaroo myself.

But if I had a stomach the size of some of the gluttonous beer guts on show on the beaches I wouldn’t be parading it as if it were Cheryl Cole’s cleavage.

A new report has shown that nearly half of men are worried about baring their bellies on the beach. Thank heavens for that. That’s spared us a few visual obscenities.

And for many shy blokes, I am sure, such insecurities are silly and fully undeserved.

But when you have a pot so huge that it’s a surprise you haven’t attracted the interest of big game hunters, well, common sense should tell you that others won’t admire your bottle in flaunting your ample flesh.

Believe me, the sight of it doing a belly flop on the beach isn’t pretty.

For pity’s sake, keep it under wraps, lads.

After all, you’ll only wince with hindsight when you see those holiday snaps.

And by ‘hindsight’ I don’t mean the other sight you parade for all to witness when you head down to the water for a dip in your sagging trunks.