Daftness... with strings attached? (From Bournemouth Echo)

Daftness... with strings attached?

10:11am Friday 3rd July 2009 in

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A YEAR ago, our cat went missing. And I tied a notice to a lamppost asking people to look out for her.

Phew! How lucky was I? The cat returned… and the lamppost stayed upright.

Judging by Dorset County Council’s extreme caution regarding lampposts, they must be frail structures. They’ve banned the tying of bunting to them during the carnival, for safety’s sake. (That’s bunting... not leaden bun tins.)

Lampposts might have stayed upright during the hurricane of 1987 but who knows what would happen if some plastic flags attached to a lamppost caught in a breeze during this weekend’s fun. Close shave, eh?

Presumably, you wouldn’t want to risk a dog relieving itself against one either, would you?

Or a thoughtless ukelele singer leaning on one at the corner of the street? Oh me, oh my.

I may not know much about the stability of lampposts but if a bit of bunting were likely to pull a lamppost down, even in a fierce gale, surely that lamppost needs replacing.

The daft-sounding ruling regarding Ferndown's lampposts has come at the same time as a school somewhere has barred children from putting on suncream.

And hot on the heels of reports about the banning of doormats and clown’s big shoes.

And a PC refusing to sit on a bike for a photo because he hadn’t passed his proficiency.

What is ironic is that all these oddities arise from well-intentioned people doing things for our good. And we don’t want them to.

Why don’t they relax? We can live with tiny risks.

What will they come up with next? Banning wires from telegraph poles?