Bournemouth Echo

Bean there, Sean it, said it wrongly

8:00am Thursday 18th March 2010

“GOOD evening. I am the president of the Loyal Society for the Relief of Suffers from Pismronunciation, for the relief of people who can’t say their worms correctly, or who use the wrong worms entirely,” goes Ronnie Barker’s classic monologue on mispronunciation.

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Did you make mother’s day yesterday?

8:00am Monday 15th March 2010

I was shouting into my mobile phone as I walked around Longham Lake, Ferndown. I’d been for a walk and the sun was shining.

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I sing it my way!

9:40am Monday 8th March 2010

WHEN I sing at work my colleagues talk about perfect pitch. They discuss which would be the perfect window through which to pitch me.

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Venables back where he belongs

9:23am Saturday 6th March 2010

SINCE the age of 10, James Bulger killer, Jon Venables, has enjoyed the very best the British state can lavish on him. He’s had the best healthcare, education, psychiatric assessment and, I suspect, the equivalent of his own bodyguard to protect him from the mob.

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When did the Hairy Biker's morph into Sid James?

9:00am Friday 5th March 2010

HANG on a minute, when did the Hairy Bikers’ Mums Know Best (Tuesday, BBC2, 8pm) cookery show morph into a Carry On film?

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Stress part of the job at Number 10

8:00am Saturday 27th February 2010

THE Downing Street ‘Bullygate’ saga is far funnier than anything the BBC’s comedy department could come up with for ‘In The Thick Of It’.

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Face it, it won’t make a difference

7:30am Monday 22nd February 2010

WHEN I was very young, a tree fell on our house. I have no idea how much damage, if any, it did, but it was enough to galvanise my dad into action against the other unsafe trees along our street.

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