CRITICS have blasted this column for being too lightweight.

"It's like Joey Essex on Mastermind, " said one.

"It lacks cohesive thought and ...and...and....," said another.

And my personal favourite.

"It fails to portray the working man's struggle against the oppressive capitalist system."

I would like to thank my relatives for writing in.

There's nothing like offering unbridled support.

So in an attempt to remedy this and be more political, I will be attempting to address some of the major issues of the day.

Boaty McBoatface, I hear you ask?

Unfortunately that boat's sailed. But Boaty McBoatface. Really?

The Great British public thought that's what we should call a new polar research ship. It was never going to happen.

Fortunately, the powers that be named the vessel after Sir David Attenborough just days before his 90th birthday.

Next time there's a public vote on what we should call a new fighter jet, perhaps we should just pencil in Planey McPlaneface and have done with it.

That should have Putin quaking in his boots (biting political satire, comment one).

Perhaps you thought I'd forgotten Eurovision.

But how can you write about a parody of a parody.

It's a proper European contest, which of course involves those well-known European countries Australia and Israel and possibly USA in the future.

The UK has as much chance of winning this singing competition as I have of getting an appointment at my doctors' surgery in the next few weeks (biting political satire, comment two).

No, the hot topic of the moment has to be Brexit. (I bet you never thought you'd read that word in this column).

What could go wrong here?

After all, the same people who wanted Boaty McBoatface and think Eurovision is the pinnacle of popular music will be voting.

For those who haven't been paying attention and to be honest, I don't blame you, there's two sides.

A team that wants to remain in the EU and a team that wants to leave. Clear so far, good. Because this is where it gets a bit tricky.

The remain in side is led by a posh Tory type and then the leave side is also led by a posh Tory type. And weirdly, they seem to be saying the same things.

For example, if we remain in the EU, life will be wonderful. The world will be full of flowers, the sun will shine every day, we will all love one another and there will be sweets and cakes for all. (Maybe not the last bit because of the obesity crisis, but you get the drift).

If we leave, then the world will end. The skies will turn black, molten lava will rain down on us and it will look like something out of a Terminator movie. (Actually, I could be persuaded to vote for this option).

If we leave the EU, the same situation applies. So you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The best way to look at this is what is the singular, most important issue for you.

I call it the Curly philosophy, after the character in the City Slickers movie.

It's most likely you will say jobs.

Again here, there is nothing between the two camps.

Vote to leave and there will be more than jobs for all, there will in fact be two or even three jobs for everybody because we will get £1.50 back from the money we haven't spent on the EU. A year.

Similarly, remain and big businesses will stay in the UK and we will have jobs for life. (What about the steel industry, Dave? - that's biting political satire, comment three, if you're counting).

But, according to the 'experts', it doesn't matter which way you vote, there will be less jobs not more in the future.

The robots are taking over. You heard.

There's a report out from the jobs charity The Edge Foundation which says up to 15 million people could lose their jobs in the UK in the next 10 to 20 years.

They claim digital technology is destroying seven jobs for every two it creates.

So the real question is which side are you on? For the robots or against.

I don't know about you, but if the Terminator knocks on my door, he's getting my vote.