Those suffering with mental illness can't always tell their loved ones what's wrong or what they need.

Sometimes they don't even know themselves.

Unfortunately this can leave friends and family absolutely devastated and feeling like there's nowhere to turn for support.

As part of Mental Health Awareness week one woman has spoken out about caring for someone with a mental health problem to let others know there is help out there.

Babs Plumbridge has been supporting her husband Nick through the problems of living with clinical depression for more than 20 years.

This has given her extensive insight into the issues and impacts of living with someone who has a mental health condition, and she now works with Dorset HealthCare to help train staff, raise awareness and support others in her situation.

“People might not see themselves as carers – it’s just a label, really,” said Babs, who lives in Poole.

“You might describe yourself as a friend or supporter. It doesn’t matter – what’s important is the care you provide to a loved one, and that you get the help and support you need.”

Babs married Nick in 1968. They raised two children together, and enjoyed successful careers – Babs in the legal profession and Nick as a senior civil servant.

Nick was first admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 1993, following the discovery of a burglary at their home.

“It was a traumatic experience, which acted as a trigger,” she explained.

Eventually, with the help of medication and therapy, Nick was able to return home and go back to work. But life for the couple was never the same again.

“The old ‘black dog’ analogy about depression is very true. Sometimes it intrudes on your life more than others. When Nick is well, he works at a very high level. Life is normal, and we share responsibilities.

“But when he has spells of being unwell and has to spend time in hospital, it’s down to me to put out the rubbish, mow the lawn and take care of things. That’s the way it works, and you just adapt.

“We’ve also learned not to put ourselves in certain situations. For example, I love going on holidays, but Nick doesn’t – even getting stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the airport would be very stressful for him. So I go away with friends from time to time, and Nick is happy at home.

“In some ways, I’ve cultivated another life. As a carer, you have to find that balance and maintain other interests. You have to look after yourself, or you will be no good to the person you are supporting.”

A big part of Babs’ life involves spreading the word about mental health conditions, sharing her experiences with health workers and carers alike.

Since 2010 she has been working with Dorset Health Care staff to help develop their understanding of the service user’s and carer’s point of view, and helps run courses at its Recovery Education Centre, in partnership with the Dorset Mental Health Forum.

She also works as a carer peer specialist.

“Sometimes people need support that a professional just isn’t able to give,” she said.

“Sometimes carers are angry or frustrated – either with the system or the person they are looking after – and need to let it out. I’ve been through that, I understand it, and can tell them that’s perfectly normal.

“Physical pain and suffering can been seen by everybody, it’s clearly visible. Mental pain is not – but it’s just as real and difficult to deal with.

“And if you are suddenly faced with caring for a friend or relative with mental health problems, the world can become a very frightening, lonely place.

“I’ve been in the system a long time, and it’s definitely getting better. Professionals do understand the value of carers and listen a lot more.

“If you are supporting a friend or relative with mental health problems, please register with your GP and seek out a support group. You don’t have to cope alone.”

Mental health carers across Bournemouth, Poole and Dorset can find out how to access advice, information and support at a special event next month.

‘Building Carer-friendly Communities’ will take place between 10am and 3pm on Monday, June 6, at Branksome Dene Community Room in Pinewood Road, Canford Cliffs.

Staff from Dorset HealthCare will be present, alongside representatives from the Dorset Mental Health forum, and there will be a light buffet lunch.

To book a place contact anne.gaston@dhuft.nhs.uk or call 01202 443261.