Show some respect to the dead, pleads funeral director (From Bournemouth Echo)
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Show some respect to the dead, pleads funeral director
7:00am Tuesday 5th April 2011 in News By Timothy John
Show some respect to the dead, pleads funeral director
SHOW some respect.
That’s the call from a funeral director overseeing the final journeys of loved ones in Bournemouth and Poole as a new report reveals one in six drivers has witnessed motorists swearing and making hand gestures at corteges.
Steven Dabin, area manager for the Poole and Bournemouth division of Co-operative Funeral Care, said grieving families travelling to funerals were left distressed by rude drivers.
“I’m afraid it is true. There is a lack of courtesy shown sometimes.
“We drive slowly as a mark of respect, and that tends to create a queue behind us.
“If people see us coming, they try to get in front of us, even to the point of people cutting into the middle of the cortege between the hearse and the family’s car,” he said.
One in 12 drivers quizzed by the survey said they didn’t know that it was considered respectful not to overtake the funeral procession.
Three out of four drivers said they would consider pulling over to let a funeral cortege pass as a sign of respect and nine out of ten would drive at a slower speed to remain behind the funeral procession.
The survey also found that pensioners were twice as likely as drivers under 45 to show respect to funeral corteges.
Mr Dabin said the idea of a funeral procession went to the heart of a shared display of grief that would continue during the service.
“The procession is a way of showing respect to the memory of a family member of loved one. It’s for the family to do together. It’s the whole sense of togetherness. It’s literally the final journey.
“If someone cuts in front, or the middle, or even down to rude hand gestures some times, it can be very upsetting. We don’t want to see that.”
But Steven Tapper, director of Tapper Funeral Service, said he wasn’t aware of falling standards of respect for corteges.
“In Poole, Christchurch, and the older towns, there is a sense of community, and if a funeral is taking place people are aware that the community is one person less as a result.
“I’m encouraged that we continue to see people paying respect to the dead, even if they didn’t know them,” he said.
Comments(29)
Morrigan
says...
7:40am Tue 5 Apr 11
Sadly people seem overly agressive and less respectful of each other when alive these days, so it comes as no surprise that they don't respect the dead either.
cathyfranklin
says...
8:07am Tue 5 Apr 11
585
says...
8:21am Tue 5 Apr 11
All I did was to quote the relevant section of the Highway Code and as a result I get this sort of comment.
Is every road user expected to ignore this rule?
Duckorange
says...
8:23am Tue 5 Apr 11
Duckorange
says...
8:24am Tue 5 Apr 11
PokesdownMark
says...
8:33am Tue 5 Apr 11
Now Mr Echo, tell us about this report. How many people were surveyed? How were they contacted? Did you pay for the information or lift it from a published source?
BTW, clearly not all surveys are rogue. The consumer association would be an example of one of the better ones.
Marcus301
says...
8:33am Tue 5 Apr 11
Sam Shepherd
says...
8:44am Tue 5 Apr 11
The release is now linked from the story and we've added in some of the other responses for balance. Hope that helps.
hammer
says...
8:50am Tue 5 Apr 11
Grumpy Griff
says...
8:58am Tue 5 Apr 11
Quoting the highway code is fair enough but you just need to follow a bit of common sense and general ettequite when driving, you don't need half a brain to know it is disrespectful to cut in or make rude gestures to a funeral cortege!
samsmith
says...
8:59am Tue 5 Apr 11
Marcus301 wrote:Although hopefully a good up-bringing helps avoid situations like this, I don't think it necessarily is a 'Chav' issue.
Decent, humble people have no problem showing respect, it's just those who haven't been brought up properly - 'chavs' who wouldn't know the meaning of the word. It wouldn't cross my mind to overtake a funeral cortege but I've seen plenty of motorists do it, even cutting into a cortege, which shows a disgusting lack of respect and courtesy.
.
Driving, getting behind the wheel of a car can make the most meek and mild person - man or woman, young or old, rich or poor, for better or worse, in sickness and in health... etc etc - some sort of fiend. Especially if they have a deadline to get somewhere.
cranefly
says...
9:40am Tue 5 Apr 11
Apparently, during the 15th century people put lighted candelabras on the funeral cortege therefore the procession had to go slow in order not to put out the lights.
So why not compromise and do an acceptable speed until nearer to the church or chapel then 'go slow'.
Any other ideas?
ballstoit
says...
10:38am Tue 5 Apr 11
Cant say I've ever seen anyone trying to overtake or generally get annoyed with a cortege before.
You'd look a right tw@ sat slap in the middle of the grieving family and the herse because you couldn't be bothered to wait a few miuntes.
Jonkers
says...
10:57am Tue 5 Apr 11
How quickly things have changed.
PokesdownMark
says...
11:12am Tue 5 Apr 11
MJD
says...
11:32am Tue 5 Apr 11
585 wrote:Its not a rule or Law, it is only advisory.
I don't understand the comments above. All I did was to quote the relevant section of the Highway Code and as a result I get this sort of comment. Is every road user expected to ignore this rule?
585
says...
11:51am Tue 5 Apr 11
Lord Spring
says...
12:13pm Tue 5 Apr 11
585 wrote:Just remember it when your turn comes, as it will.
Advisory maybe, but it is sensible advice.
585
says...
12:25pm Tue 5 Apr 11
I don't know whether you thought this through before you commented but as far as my current knowledge goes, when my time comes i.e when I die, I will be in no position to remember anything.
TheDistrict
says...
12:30pm Tue 5 Apr 11
cranefly wrote:You will find that most Funeral Companies do do this now. In the case of both my mother and fathers funeral, the courtege moved from their last residents at a slow pace, until off the estate and onto the main road. From that point they maintained speed in accordance with the traffic, and taking a route that kept them off the main roads, until they arrived at the road leading to the Bournemouth Crematorioum where they slowed down again. At the gates, the Funeral Director disembarked from the hearst and took is place at the head of the courtege for the even slower drive to the chapel.
Did you wonder why the procession goes so slow?
Apparently, during the 15th century people put lighted candelabras on the funeral cortege therefore the procession had to go slow in order not to put out the lights.
So why not compromise and do an acceptable speed until nearer to the church or chapel then 'go slow'.
Any other ideas?
.
As for 585 Wemouth, the code is an advisory notice, and does not refer to such vehicles as hearsts. In the main I beleive it refers to the country side, and heavy slow farm vehicles such as tractors, etc.
.
If you refer to the Highway Code, suggest you look at 162
.
585
says...
12:39pm Tue 5 Apr 11
Help me, I 'ave nevver seen a hearsts
162 is fine as long as the hearse and the accompanying vehicles are aware that there are other vehicles on the road as well.
joncon
says...
12:56pm Tue 5 Apr 11
Therefore eleven in twelve did. So it's not really a very big problem in that case, is it? Non story.
solitaire
says...
2:11pm Tue 5 Apr 11
ballstoit wrote:ballstoit, Pikeytown says...
I dont believe it. Maybe folk in Bournemouth and Poole are just arses.
Cant say I've ever seen anyone trying to overtake or generally get annoyed with a cortege before.
You'd look a right tw@ sat slap in the middle of the grieving family and the herse because you couldn't be bothered to wait a few miuntes.
10:38am Tue 5 Apr 11
"You'd look a right tw@ sat slap in the middle of the grieving family and the herse because you couldn't be bothered to wait a few miuntes."
I WAS that right tw@ when I was about 19yrs old, driving with a friend & my parents on the autobahn in Germany. I was speeding like a released caged animal, and suddenly aware of a queue of very slow traffic on my right. Thinking they must know something I didn't, like a speed trap ahead, I slowed and gently forced my way in between two cars. What a numpty ! Not sure if that beats the time I pulled over for a fire engine in Poole, and DOH! I stopped right outside the burning house. Couldn't understand why the beebaa's where still going behind me.
Was Charlie
says...
6:40pm Tue 5 Apr 11
585 wrote:585, Weymouth,
Lord Spring, I don't know whether you thought this through before you commented but as far as my current knowledge goes, when my time comes i.e when I die, I will be in no position to remember anything.
Maybe you won't be in a position to remember anything, but I'm sure your mourners would appreciate some respect for you.
.....
I also expect that you would appreciate respect to any member of your family whose funeral you were attending.
pd7
says...
7:26pm Tue 5 Apr 11
The only thing I slow down for are horses and riders , now they get respect.
585
says...
9:41pm Tue 5 Apr 11
No, they probably will be rejoicing cos the old git has popped his clogs at last.
nikkioctober
says...
11:40am Thu 7 Apr 11
585 wrote:Would you like to quote the highway code for ambulances and police too?
Highway code. 169 Do not hold up a long queue of traffic, especially if you are driving a large or slow-moving vehicle. Check your mirrors frequently, and if necessary, pull in where it is safe and let traffic pass.
nikkioctober
says...
11:45am Thu 7 Apr 11
ballstoit wrote:Well said!!
I dont believe it. Maybe folk in Bournemouth and Poole are just arses. Cant say I've ever seen anyone trying to overtake or generally get annoyed with a cortege before. You'd look a right tw@ sat slap in the middle of the grieving family and the herse because you couldn't be bothered to wait a few miuntes.
585 says...
7:11am Tue 5 Apr 11
Do not hold up a long queue of traffic, especially if you are driving a large or slow-moving vehicle. Check your mirrors frequently, and if necessary, pull in where it is safe and let traffic pass.