I DON’T believe it!

According to some survey, people aged between 45 and 59 are the most miserable in the UK.

The figures are revealed by the Office for National Statistics in a wellbeing survey. Yes, that’s the one David Cameron (remember him?) introduced back in 2011.

What utter nonsense. It’s sheer balderdash and likely to set my arms flailing wildly in a windmill-fashion.

How can this be true? After all, we can’t be grumpy pants as we have our children to look after, even though they’re in their thirties.

Yes, the boomerang generation who leave home and come back again six months later as they can’t afford to rent.

And if that doesn’t worry you, then what about looking after ageing parents and making sure their needs are met. But we’re fine with it, we can cope.

Although there’s the mortgage to pay, the mounting bills and stressful jobs. Still, ok. No worries. You won’t find us getting agitated.

Although what about the weather we’ve been having? It’s far too hot.

The whole point about living in the UK is the temperature should be the same all year round. Not too hot, not too cold.

We had snowstorms in March and now this.

Well, it’s enough to make your blood boil. When’s it going to end?

Mind you, it’s nothing like the heatwave we had in 1976. Now that was a real hot spell. Unless you are forced to bath with a friend or have a culturally-inappropriate rain dance, it’s not as sweltering as you think.

And if it stays like this, what will we have to talk about? Our obsession with the weather will evaporate.

No, we need it to rain for at least two months for normal service to be resumed.

But I’m not getting anxious about it. I’m as cool as a cucumber. Well, not quite, but you get my drift.

Although, what really gets my dander up is all this Brexit nonsense. Ye gods! What are they playing at? Theresa May? More like Theresa won’t!

I thought she had it when she said “Brexit means Brexit”. But no, her Brexit is totally different from everybody else’s.

And then there’s the Brexiteers. (Like the name, sounds like Musketeers). Are they leading everyone off a cliff? We do need someone to trade with. Get a grip, for goodness sake.

But the Remainers. Well, they just make me seethe with anger.

Don’t they know they are going against the “will of the people?”

Although I must admit, I’ve never met the guy.

We can always go shopping to take our minds off these things. That’s if we can find any stores.

And then if you can get anyone to serve you. Or you have to serve yourself. Who came up with that one?

I’m also not going to queue. Not at my age. I can’t afford the wait. It may be British, but it’s a stupid tradition. A bit like wearing a bowler hat and eating sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

But as I said, you won’t get me riled. No, we people in that age bracket have it under control. Yes, siree!

Although have you been watching TV lately? What are the BBC thinking of paying those stars all that money?

I’ve worked out that if I put all the cash I’ve earned in my entire career into one account, I would still only be able to pay for Gary Lineker’s big toe. Mind you, he did score a lot goals with it.

Then there’s the programmes. I know it’s the summer, but give us ‘middle-aged’ folk something to watch.

I can’t be doing with cookery shows, talent shows, ‘comedy’ shows or reality TV.

Although I should relax with a Countryfile or Antiques Roadshow.

Just to get the blood pressure down.

And everyone keeps telling me it’s important to shed a few pounds and get a good night’s sleep.

Though, how am I going to be able to do all that with the worry?

I blame the elderly for this.

If they hadn’t be so noble and stoic, we wouldn’t have been so bad in comparison.

The idea that they mustn’t grumble even when things are going horrifically wrong, just does my nut in.

Please get angry. Even occasionally.

It would make me feel a whole lot better.

But if you think our whinging’s bad, just wait for the millennials.

They’ve got complaining off to a fine art.

However, as I said, we ‘middle-aged’ aren’t angry or miserable.

What do you mean I sound like Victor Meldrew?

And there’s another thing..........