A GROUP of men aged over 85 have spoken out to highlight the plight of Dorset’s hidden army of male carers.

The 11 pensioners have shared their experiences of providing round the clock care to their sick and frail loved ones as part of a research project at Bournemouth University to help shape support and understanding.

Figures reveal more than 51,000 carers in England are men aged over 85 - a number which outnumbers women carers and has more than doubled in a decade amid an ageing population and a care system under increasing pressure.

However many carers have physical and mental health issues themselves and evidence shows caring for someone further increases the likelihood of isolation, loneliness, depression and physical health problems.

A Carers UK study identified that 54 per cent of carers have suffered depression because of their caring role, 77 per cent felt more anxious and 40 per cent identified they had missed medical appointments and discharged themselves from hospital due to concerns about care for the person they look after.

Data from the Bournemouth and Poole Carers Centre suggests older male carers are the group least likely to ask for help and often present to them through GP services at crisis stage.

A special event ‘Hidden carers: sharing the stories of older male carers’ takes place today as part of the university’s Festival of Learning.

Professionals hope by shedding light on the unsung army of elderly carers and gaining a deeper understanding of their needs, it can help develop support.

Dr Mel Hughes, principal academic in social work at the university, said older carers over the age of 65 are the fastest growing group of carers in England and Wales.

She said: “Seeking a better understanding and insight from older male carers is essential for society to learn how best to respond to this growing need.

“The men have identified some common themes such as the need to develop new skills and knowledge to undertake their caring role such as proving medical and personal care, lifting and handling, cooking and cleaning. They identify the need for acceptance and to honour the vows they made when getting married. They identify their sense of duty and responsibility and reluctance to ask or seek help. They wait to be asked.”

Dr Hughes explained the BU PIER partnership (Public Involvement in Education and Research) which has led the initiative works with members of the public, researchers and health and social care organisations to shape research activity.

She said: “The need to explore the needs of this group came from our collaborations with carers across Dorset and from conversations with Bournemouth and Poole Carers Centre.

“The older carers have driven the project. They have a huge expertise in relation to caring and of what can help as well as ideas on how services and support can be improved.

“They told us that support when at its best is consistent.

“The older carers project gives them a voice and a chance to share their perspectives with service providers.

“They are the experts, we just need to listen to them.”

The research team have developed a policy paper that will be distributed across care services as well as a short film which will be launched at the event and will be used within health and social care education and training.

Anyone is welcome to the event which takes place from 11am until 2pm at the Talbot Campus in Fusion Building.

To book a place, go to https://microsites.bournemouth.ac.uk/festival-of-learning/events/hidden-carers-sharing-the-stories-of-older-male-carers/

“To see her like this is heartbreaking."

Jim Sanger is heartbroken his beloved wife Phil is now in a care home.

For five years the devoted 87-year-old was the ‘chief cook and bottle washer’ providing round-the-clock care to his wife of 65 years - until his own deteriorating health left him no other option than to ask for help.

It was September 2012 Jim’s soulmate Phil, who he fell in love with when they met on a pier in Hastings in 1950, was diagnosed with vascular dementia.

“It got increasingly worse,” he said.

“She has ended up physically being unable to walk on her own. She’s lost an enormous amount of weight and is down to about five stone. She had a stroke about three years ago which killed off her ability to swallow naturally and it’s now getting towards the end.

“It has been like that for a year and doctors are amazed she is still hanging on.

“You are dealing with someone who doesn’t talk, doesn’t communicate and stares, which is pretty hard to take actually.

“To see her like this is heartbreaking.

"She was a highly intelligent woman, a school teacher, very politically aware and a very good tennis player.

“To see her slowly degenerate, it takes a bit of doing you know and you start to realise how much she needs you."

As a carer the great grandad-of-two and grandad-of-five was responsible for everything from housework to providing personal care for his wife.

“I had a baby alarm in her room and I’d get up in the morning and would wonder before opening the door what I was going to find. That was scary.

“It’s been a tough five years. But you deal with it. I was amazed I could but I did.

"After two years alone, I had carers helping out but that was only four hours. But there are 24 hours in a day.

"There are 101 different scenarios you end up dealing with.

"But when you have been married for 65 years, it matters. That is what love is.

“We were married in 1953 and we always worked through any arguments we had. "You look back on those times and you realise that is what cements the situation.

“I was born in 1930 and being brought up at that time when things were tough, the family rallies around together. You don’t rely on anyone, you battle on yourself. You got used to doing that so when this happened it didn’t occur to me that I should get carers in.

“It is difficult to explain what you feel. You feel a deep sense of obligation and you wouldn’t want to be in that position yourself and you’d do anything that you possibly can. You get into a pattern and it just becomes a way of life."

Jim recalls his daughter, who lives locally and his son, who lives in America, suggested he had some respite and he reluctantly decided to find a nursing home for a week.

However, by chance his daughter called in the following day to find her mother sitting in a chair in a circle, with a ‘huge swelling on her forehead, a black eye and mass bruising on her shoulder.’

"Apparently she had fallen during the night but they hadn’t done anything. An hour later we were in Poole Hospital and she had a broken shoulder and the bruising to her head was so bad they thought she may have brain damage.

"It was a very bad experience. She is very precious to me,” Jim said.

Six months ago, Jim faced his biggest battle of all when the back problems he suffers became unbearable and he was unable to carry on as a carer.

"She got really bad. I couldn’t physically lift her. I had some operations myself so she is now in a home. That was a very difficult decision. I know she is in the best place and they are really excellent there. I visit every day but it breaks my heart walking away and leaving her when I have to go.

“This is the first period of time I have lived on my own. I’m finding that difficult, I hate it.”

The former meat importer, who lives in Sandbanks, describes the support he received from his local GP surgery and NHS district nurses as ‘phenomenal’ but he said he is ‘one of the lucky ones.’

“I’ve had tremendous support and I certainly haven’t ever felt alone. That wasn’t the position of everyone though. I think the support is there but it is about directing it in a much better way so nobody has to battle on alone."