I SPENT an amusing few minutes this week explaining to the old man that LGBT wasn’t a new type of sandwich (he’s a human Labrador and thinks of everything in food terms) but, rather, the new shorthand for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.

The reason I had to explain it was because he’s finally caught up with the Bruce-becoming-Caitlyn Jenner thing. (Kim Kardashian’s stepparent broke the internet after appearing in her new gender identity on the front cover of Vanity Fair).

But maybe it’s about time that those who are/were married to the Caitlyns and Kellie (once Frank) Moloneys of this world gently explained a few things too?

Like how they are probably going to get treated now they are identified as female.

Because when I read stuff like this, from blogger Crystal Fraiser, described as trans, I wonder what planet they are on.

Crystal was reported as saying: “I’ve felt frustrated and useless and overwhelmed by opinions on transgender women and how we’re ‘supposed’ to look if we want to be taken seriously.”

I sympathise but, er, welcome to the club, love.

To be female is to be perennially judged on your looks. You may be a professor, you may be a Prime Minister, you may juggle being a parent, a carer for your elderly rellies and a career but that will count for nothing if you commit the cardinal sin of letting yourself go. Or acquire a muffin top. Or don’t look beach body ready. Or fail to get your roots done. Or look like a frump. Or a mutton dressed as lamb. Or, if you’ve overdone the slap, like a ‘man in drag’.(Yes it DOES get said, even if you were born female.)

If trans ladies want to know how sharply they’ll be judged in the looks department, remember the late Lynda Lee-Potter’s acid observation that: “You can always tell the age of a woman by her knees.” As it happens she was right, which is why some poor women go through the agony of a knee-lift. But THAT’S the level of scrutiny females can be under.

Caitlyn Jenner may reckon that ‘all transgender women are beautiful’ but did she hold the opinion that all women were beautiful when she was a he? I’m willing to bet Bruce may have judged women by their size and shape and how good they looked.

Because that’s what happens, isn’t it?

Transgender actress Laverne Cox reckons we need ‘diverse representation of trans folks’ and we do because diverse is generally good.

But although trans folks may have their own difficulties maybe newcomers to the sex might be better served if they understood they are joining the gender in which they are an estimated six times more likely to suffer acts of domestic violence, where they will, on average, be paid around 14 per cent less for doing work of equal value to men, and where, whatever is said and done, they will always be judged in some part on how attractive they are perceived to be.

Silly prank shows lack of respect 

NO, I don’t believe that in stripping off for a stupid prank on Mount Kinabalu, Derbyshire student Eleanor Hawkins and her fellow trekkers caused a giant earthquake in Malaysia.

But I DO believe that being arrested and told off for allegedly causing deep offence won’t do any of them any harm at all.

It’s about time British kids had it drummed into them that just because the UK may tolerate this kind of stupid behaviour, others will not, and the onus is upon them to make sure they are respectful when they travel abroad. It’s called good manners.

Ed needed more women in his life 

LIKE most of the UK’s journo community, I eagerly ploughed through the giant Guardian newspaper report into why Ed Miliband lost the election. About three-quarters in I noticed that His Edness didn’t appear to have any close female advisers. If the next Labour leader was female and she only appointed women to advise her, I bet everyone would notice that, wouldn’t they? Mind you, it could explain a lot...

Little princess following in the Queen's fashion footsteps

APART from The Cuteness of Prince George, the best thing about those lovely images of the new Princess Charlotte were her trad knitted top and woolly leggings. No naff frilly dresses for Britain’s newest royal babe. In fact, going by her fashion choices so far; wool bonnet, plain knitted everything, it’s obvious whose style she’s channelling...great-granny! So look forward to plenty more piccies of the Princess over the years sporting beige cardies, tweed kilts, lisle stockings and all topped off with a fetching silk headscarf. And, possibly, some nice galoshes.

Note: This piece by Faith is an opinion piece and not a news report. You can contact Faith by tweeting @HerFaithness