Jackie Humberstone knows the signs a young person in her care is beginning to relax. “They start humming around the house,” she says.

“And putting their feet up on the sofa!”

These may be small things to you and I, but to Jackie, who has been a foster carer for 13 years, they’re huge.

She never knows who she will get through her door from one placement to the next, but all her charges have a background containing precious little love or security.

Tellingly, during our chat Jackie uses the word chaos many times. “I’ve been referred children who have never sat around a table as a family,” she says.

“Children whose feet are deformed due to ill-fitting shoes; whose parents are violent or who have drug or alcohol problems which lead to mental health issues and them neglecting their children.”

Jackie speaks honestly about the fostering experience: “Some people who consider fostering look at things though rose tinted-glasses.

“They think ‘I want to help’ – but it’s tough. That’s even before a child is placed with you as there’s a rigorous assessment which can take around six months.

“There are definitely highs and lows to fostering. It has been very rewarding but sometimes very challenging. Hang in there though,” she urges.

Jackie comes from a family of foster carers, including her parents and siblings, so it was only natural for her and husband Mark to follow suit.

Around 22 placements later, they have converted their Ringwood home into a welcoming sanctuary, and specialise in ‘parent and child’ placements.

When a young woman from a dysfunctional background has a child of their own, she may be referred to Jackie if she hasn’t received the adequate parenting skills to pass on to her son or daughter.

Both the mother and child will live with Jackie and Mark, giving the best possible opportunity for the child to be nurtured by their own mum but in a stable family environment.

“They usually stay for around seven to eight months,” explained Jackie who has two children of her own: Charlotte, 24 and Ed, 22.

“They arrive bewildered. Social services have said they can’t leave hospital with their baby without a parenting placement. All this on top of the shock of having a new baby.”

Using small steps, the couple encourage an environment of trust and nurturing.

“We immediately get on their level,” says Jackie.

“Mark cooks them their favourite meal on their first day with us.”

Then over the course of a few months, being linked with the couple makes such a difference that these young women are able to keep their babies whereas previously they would have been taken away from them.

Jackie believes the cycle of chaos starts in the womb.

“Some parents don’t look after their babies even then. The fear, the noise. It gets to the children early. Then once they are born they aren’t shown how to love or respect.”

The 53-year-old believes it doesn’t matter how much money you have to provide a stable home. The vital components to raising a balanced child are routines, bonding, love, trust, security and building their confidence.

Therefore you can foster if you are a single parent, young or old.

“You just need to be grounded,” says Jackie.

“We have a national shortfall of 9,000 foster carers and there is a big need for foster carers specialising in parent and child placements, in Dorset in particular. I think people are worried to commit. Worried how the child will fit in with their own family.

“True, it might not suit half the people who come forward, but lots of training is given, you can pull out any time, you are never on your own and you’re always well supported.”

Such are the relationships she builds with her charges, many of them keep in touch through their own choice.

“We never push it,” she stresses.

Oozing warmth and modesty, she adds: “People wonder how I do it, but it’s my job – a profession.

“I haven’t got a halo. I just provide vulnerable youngsters with a settled home life, and I enjoy truly making a difference to their lives.”

  • Jackie and Mark have not been photographed to protect the identity of the children they care for. Jackie fosters for the independent agency Blue Sky Fostering which provides fostering to the south of England