CONTRARY to what Alanis Morissette will have us believe, irony isn’t rain on your wedding day, or indeed a free ride when you’ve already paid.

No, I’ll tell you what irony is: Standing tickets only for the Skimmity Hitchers gig tonight, Friday, April 20 at the Corn Exchange in Dorchester.

As anyone who has ever been to a Hitchers’ gig and can remember enough to tell the tale, no one just STANDS there.

You’re either hurling yourself about like some demented loon or are flat out on the floor, feeling more than a little refreshed after overdoing the Government’s recommended five-a-day intake of fruit, which does includes cider, after all. Doesn’t it?

The cider-swillin’ reprobates have very much cornered the Scrumpy and Western market with their razor-sharp parodies and home-pressed originals, and all with the very strong chance of a dancing badger making an appearance.

The Hitchers will be joined tonight by folk rockers The Imprints and accordion-punk whippersnappers Sinful Maggie.

There are still some tickets at £12 from the box office on 01305 266926 or, in the words of Abba, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on the door tonight from 7.30pm.

Moving on, and moving just down the road, in fact, to Tom Browns in the county town where also tonight, Friday April 20, there’s a very special fundraising event featuring The Remedy and Owen Lister.

They’ll be helping raise money for the Dunkirk Women’s Refugee Centre in France and as Becci Brookman, one of the event organisers, tells me: “Myself and three other women from Dorset County Council’s Unison branch are heading out to volunteer at the centre on Sunday and we will also be bringing much needed donations of tents, sleeping bags and women’s clothing.

“We have already achieved over £750 in donations including £300 from local Unison branches and £160 from the local Labour branch. The money raised will go to providing shelter, clothing and sanitary products.

“We visited the camp twice last year and helped in the distribution warehouse in the mornings and then activities with the women and children in the afternoon,” Becci adds.

A noble cause and well worth supporting. Do your bit and dig deep, okay?

And finally, here’s advance warning to women of a certain age to dig out your tartan-trimmed flares (Yes, I know they’ve shrunk in the wardrobe over the years), get yourself a packet of industrial strength Tena pads and set your screams to maximum earache because one-time teen idol Les McKeown is bring his Bay City Rollers back down to Weymouth Pavilion next Friday, April 27.

Yep, the face that launched a thousand teenage hips back in the glory days is touring again, taking you back to the endless summer of 1976 with such smasheroonies as Bye Bye Baby, Shangalang, Summer Love Sensation and many more of that ilk.

They’ve also got a new album out, so be careful....

As anyone who was there last time he was down will vouch, it’s a great show and a hugely entertaining night. Tickets at £24 from the box office on 01305 783225.

Till next time…

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (20)

Rocket Dolls, Tate, Leika, Edd Bleach (Finns, Weymouth)

Skimmity Hitchers, Imprints (Corn Exchange, Dorchester)

Matt Black (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Danny Adams (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Jurassic Black (Park, Weymouth)

Matt Wallis (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Intercity Smugglers (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

The Big Heavy (Nook, Weymouth)

The Silhouettes (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Farrago (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

Dakota (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

The Remedy, Owen Lister (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Jolly Boys Outing (Spice Ship, Weymouth)

Darren H (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Black Dog, Weymouth)

SATURDAY (21)

Jolly Boys Outing (Finns, Weymouth)

Komakino (Market House, Weymouth)

Tripod (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

The Prairie Dogs (Gloucester, Weymouth)

The Crack (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

The Skones (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Darren H (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Martin Maton (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Neil Wale (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Alice and the Hounds (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Tequila Mockingbird (Royal Exchange, Portland)

The Shakespearos (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Katy and Gemma (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

The Silhouettes (Wyke Regis Social Club, Weymouth)

Skinful (Punchbowl, Portland)

Vanilla Radio (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Dale Fender Band (Conservative Club, Blandford)

Something Else (Centenary Cub, Weymouth)

Gut and Steel (Anchor Inn, Burton Bradstock)

Frank E Finn (Bridge Inn, Preston, Weymouth)

Martin Freed (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Black Dog, Weymouth)

SUNDAY (22)

Replay (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth) 2pm.

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 3.30 and 8pm.

Lo Numbers (Park, Weymouth) 5pm.

Martin Burr (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Vanilla Radio (Bull’s Head, Fordington, Dorchester) From 4pm.

Billy Solo (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Scots Dan Open Mic Night (Duke of Albany, Weymouth) 6pm.

Mark Davis (Black Dog, Weymouth) 4-6pm.

MONDAY (23)

Finnian McGurk, Des Quick and Nigel Canter (King’s Arms, Weymouth) A St George’s Day celebration with Frome Valley Morris Men

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) Acoustic session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (24)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Gut and Steel (Boot, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (25)

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Open Mic Night (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Open Mic Night (Rock, Weymouth)

THURSDAY (26)

Roger’s Singalong (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Julie Lewis Jazz Jam (Park, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

FRIDAY (27)

Les McKeown’s Bay City Rollers (Weymouth Pavilion)

Fluke (Finns, Weymouth)

Shooter (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Elijah Wolf (Gloucester, Weymouth)

The Katz (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Emma Lou (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

The Katz (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Broadband (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

The Shakespearos (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)