Burial heartache: Parents keep ashes of their 13-month-old son in a box because of row with council

Luke Loughran with his children Louis, two, and Callum, 10, and wife Charlotte

Ryan Loughran

First published in News by , Chief Reporter

“IT has tarnished his very existence.”

Those were the words of a Bournemouth dad who says he and his wife have had to keep the ashes of their 13-month-old son in a box because of a wrangle with the council over his burial Luke Loughran says the row has left such a bitter taste that he will now probably pay for a private site.

Luke and his wife Charlotte’s son Ryan was diagnosed with a rare form of leukaemia when he was just five months old.

He was treated at Great Ormond Street Hospital in London, where Luke had a flat.

Because the family was living there during Ryan’s treatment, Charlotte informed Bournemouth Borough Council that her flat was empty, so she didn’t have to pay council tax. When Ryan passed away last July, Luke and Charlotte, who are also parents to Louis, two, and Callum, 10, moved back to Bournemouth.

But when they applied to have Ryan’s ashes buried, Luke said the council told them they would have to pay a non-residents’ fee of nearly twice that for people residing in the borough.

Luke said: “They said that, because we were not paying council tax at that particular time, we would have to pay a total of almost £1,000. We explained and told them the reason why council tax was not being paid was because the house was empty while we were in London.

“The whole experience has tarnished his very existence.

“Bournemouth have just not recognised him as a human being – he was born in Bournemouth. I’ve had him in a box for the whole time. Someone should have looked at it and said it’s not a usual situation. Part of me doesn’t even want to bury him in Bournemouth now.”

 

Council 'willing to talk'...

GARY Josey, service director for housing, parks and bereavement, said: “Our most sincere sympathies are with Mr Loughran during this difficult time.

“When he originally came to us regarding the burial of his son’s cremated remains, we quoted a non-resident fee based on the information he provided us.

“Mr Loughran received an apology from the bereavement services manager but declined to meet with her to try and resolve the issue.

“Since then we have tried to contact him but have not managed to speak with him.

“If Mr Loughran would like to discuss this further we would be very happy to meet with him.”

Comments (74)

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6:42am Wed 15 Jan 14

retry69 says...

Must agree with the first two comments,just let the young guy rest in peace.Cannot imagine how people feel when losing a child and this seem an unnecessary emotional strain so get back to the council, they are far from unapproachable, although others will probably disagree.
Must agree with the first two comments,just let the young guy rest in peace.Cannot imagine how people feel when losing a child and this seem an unnecessary emotional strain so get back to the council, they are far from unapproachable, although others will probably disagree. retry69
  • Score: 104

7:34am Wed 15 Jan 14

apop3d says...

“The whole experience has tarnished his very existence."

I'd say that this statement by the father goes much further to "tarnishing his very existence" than anything the council has done. What a load. Sympathies to the entire family and may the little boy rest in peace. In the meantime, man up and deal with the council rather than crying to the newspaper.
“The whole experience has tarnished his very existence." I'd say that this statement by the father goes much further to "tarnishing his very existence" than anything the council has done. What a load. Sympathies to the entire family and may the little boy rest in peace. In the meantime, man up and deal with the council rather than crying to the newspaper. apop3d
  • Score: 104

7:39am Wed 15 Jan 14

Derf says...

Wouldn't a better headline be;

'Echo run non-story rather than advise grieving family to discuss their issue with the council, then get back to us when that's been exhausted and it actually becomes a story'

The constant re-heating of the cyclist v's motorist story to generate web traffic and boost income from pay per click advertisers is one thing, but using a dead baby story for the same ends takes it to an entirely different level.

Where is your morality?
Wouldn't a better headline be; 'Echo run non-story rather than advise grieving family to discuss their issue with the council, then get back to us when that's been exhausted and it actually becomes a story' The constant re-heating of the cyclist v's motorist story to generate web traffic and boost income from pay per click advertisers is one thing, but using a dead baby story for the same ends takes it to an entirely different level. Where is your morality? Derf
  • Score: 70

8:03am Wed 15 Jan 14

djd says...

Talk, it's good. The council are many things but mind readers is not part of their remit.
For the memory of your lovely baby, for goodness sake talk to the Council, not the Echo.
Talk, it's good. The council are many things but mind readers is not part of their remit. For the memory of your lovely baby, for goodness sake talk to the Council, not the Echo. djd
  • Score: 91

8:12am Wed 15 Jan 14

60plus says...

They say there are two sides to every story,don't know why the echo printed this story.
They say there are two sides to every story,don't know why the echo printed this story. 60plus
  • Score: 34

8:16am Wed 15 Jan 14

hooplaa says...

Whilst im sorry to hear of your sad loss, If you actually met with the council as requested then they would have treated it as a resident case rather than a non resident case! What is this about? Why is this in the paper? Meet them and get it sorted!
Whilst im sorry to hear of your sad loss, If you actually met with the council as requested then they would have treated it as a resident case rather than a non resident case! What is this about? Why is this in the paper? Meet them and get it sorted! hooplaa
  • Score: 67

8:34am Wed 15 Jan 14

bosco1 says...

As it is very sad to lose your Son and feel very much for the family, but this could have been sorted without gaining newspaper headlines. The council have to act according to the information given.Give them the imformation again and problem sorted and everyones more happier.Agree this time with most of the comments above.
As it is very sad to lose your Son and feel very much for the family, but this could have been sorted without gaining newspaper headlines. The council have to act according to the information given.Give them the imformation again and problem sorted and everyones more happier.Agree this time with most of the comments above. bosco1
  • Score: 54

8:48am Wed 15 Jan 14

High Treason says...

This is not something that the Echo should have been involved in. The council offered to discuss the situation, the father received an apology but declined to meet the other side. If this is the case then it is their problem, not the councils.
This is not something that the Echo should have been involved in. The council offered to discuss the situation, the father received an apology but declined to meet the other side. If this is the case then it is their problem, not the councils. High Treason
  • Score: 51

8:57am Wed 15 Jan 14

suzigirl says...

Why do you have to bury his ashes? Why not scatter them in a beautiful place. My son is scattered at Lulworth Cove and I would rather go there and think about him than a graveyard!
Why do you have to bury his ashes? Why not scatter them in a beautiful place. My son is scattered at Lulworth Cove and I would rather go there and think about him than a graveyard! suzigirl
  • Score: 71

9:23am Wed 15 Jan 14

TheDistrict says...

Is not the resting of your son more important than forcing a self deadlock with the council. They have offered communication, take advantage of it, and come to some agreement and stop making allegations you fail to confront. Rest in peace dear chap.
Is not the resting of your son more important than forcing a self deadlock with the council. They have offered communication, take advantage of it, and come to some agreement and stop making allegations you fail to confront. Rest in peace dear chap. TheDistrict
  • Score: 41

9:26am Wed 15 Jan 14

static kill says...

The Echo had reached a new low with this one, taking advantage of a grieving family. Shameful.
The Echo had reached a new low with this one, taking advantage of a grieving family. Shameful. static kill
  • Score: -28

9:31am Wed 15 Jan 14

misplacedspaniard says...

I must point out that whilst I agree with all the comments thus far you have to remember these parents are going through the most horrific grief.

When you are grieving your brain does not think rationally. It's easy for us to sit here and say 'yeah go and speak to the council etc' but in their mind the council have really upset them. To an outsider it looks pretty simple but in the throws of emotional pain they must be experiencing the slightest thing will deeply offend them.

To the parents I would say this; take a breath and see what the council has to say. Don't take any cr&p from them but maybe take a friend with you. Someone you can trust who isn't as charged with emotion as you. Sometimes you hear things differently to how it's meant because you are very upset.

Good luck xxxxx
I must point out that whilst I agree with all the comments thus far you have to remember these parents are going through the most horrific grief. When you are grieving your brain does not think rationally. It's easy for us to sit here and say 'yeah go and speak to the council etc' but in their mind the council have really upset them. To an outsider it looks pretty simple but in the throws of emotional pain they must be experiencing the slightest thing will deeply offend them. To the parents I would say this; take a breath and see what the council has to say. Don't take any cr&p from them but maybe take a friend with you. Someone you can trust who isn't as charged with emotion as you. Sometimes you hear things differently to how it's meant because you are very upset. Good luck xxxxx misplacedspaniard
  • Score: 35

9:37am Wed 15 Jan 14

bubbles20 says...

he should be aloud to be laid at rest wherever his parents want. The people commenting on this clearly havent lost a child. I really feel for this family
he should be aloud to be laid at rest wherever his parents want. The people commenting on this clearly havent lost a child. I really feel for this family bubbles20
  • Score: -28

9:43am Wed 15 Jan 14

L.123.. says...

First of all this was not about money and never will be. Secondly the council did not offer an appogy for nearly 5 months and were really quite rude and unsympathetic. I asked for the story to be printed to demonstrate how unsympathetic and incapable the council are even in the most tragic of situations. And how they are also incapable of looking outside the box. Their apology was also a very poor excuse of an apology and only offered to meet when informed the echo were likely to be contacted. For Ryan not to be recognised as a Bournemouth resident after every thing he went through......why would we want to bury him in a Bournemouth grave yard??
First of all this was not about money and never will be. Secondly the council did not offer an appogy for nearly 5 months and were really quite rude and unsympathetic. I asked for the story to be printed to demonstrate how unsympathetic and incapable the council are even in the most tragic of situations. And how they are also incapable of looking outside the box. Their apology was also a very poor excuse of an apology and only offered to meet when informed the echo were likely to be contacted. For Ryan not to be recognised as a Bournemouth resident after every thing he went through......why would we want to bury him in a Bournemouth grave yard?? L.123..
  • Score: -40

9:45am Wed 15 Jan 14

rayc says...

Whatever way you look at it £1000 to bury ashes is a large amount of money.
I agree with those who suggest scattering the ashes somewhere where they could go as a family and remember their son. RIP
Whatever way you look at it £1000 to bury ashes is a large amount of money. I agree with those who suggest scattering the ashes somewhere where they could go as a family and remember their son. RIP rayc
  • Score: 39

9:54am Wed 15 Jan 14

retry69 says...

L.123.. wrote:
First of all this was not about money and never will be. Secondly the council did not offer an appogy for nearly 5 months and were really quite rude and unsympathetic. I asked for the story to be printed to demonstrate how unsympathetic and incapable the council are even in the most tragic of situations. And how they are also incapable of looking outside the box. Their apology was also a very poor excuse of an apology and only offered to meet when informed the echo were likely to be contacted. For Ryan not to be recognised as a Bournemouth resident after every thing he went through......why would we want to bury him in a Bournemouth grave yard??
As I said in my first post I cannot imagine what or how you must feel losing a child but using this as a way to have a pop at how the council acts rests a little uneasy with me im afraid.I sincerely hope you get what you are wanting from this
[quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: First of all this was not about money and never will be. Secondly the council did not offer an appogy for nearly 5 months and were really quite rude and unsympathetic. I asked for the story to be printed to demonstrate how unsympathetic and incapable the council are even in the most tragic of situations. And how they are also incapable of looking outside the box. Their apology was also a very poor excuse of an apology and only offered to meet when informed the echo were likely to be contacted. For Ryan not to be recognised as a Bournemouth resident after every thing he went through......why would we want to bury him in a Bournemouth grave yard??[/p][/quote]As I said in my first post I cannot imagine what or how you must feel losing a child but using this as a way to have a pop at how the council acts rests a little uneasy with me im afraid.I sincerely hope you get what you are wanting from this retry69
  • Score: 40

10:14am Wed 15 Jan 14

niki 03 says...

Im taking it the people commenting haven't lost a child. Instead of mouthing off and accusing them of being after compo, why not keep your mouths shut and try and understand how they feel. The council only agreed to talk as the papers were getting involved. There is always 2sides to a story so stop singing the councils praises and dissing the family. If people haven't got anything good to say then don't say it. The family will be hurt reading these comments. Heartless people. Its upto them where they bury or scatter their son
Im taking it the people commenting haven't lost a child. Instead of mouthing off and accusing them of being after compo, why not keep your mouths shut and try and understand how they feel. The council only agreed to talk as the papers were getting involved. There is always 2sides to a story so stop singing the councils praises and dissing the family. If people haven't got anything good to say then don't say it. The family will be hurt reading these comments. Heartless people. Its upto them where they bury or scatter their son niki 03
  • Score: -37

10:23am Wed 15 Jan 14

JulietK says...

Seriously!! Some of you should be ashamed of your vile , heartless comments!!! "Just get on with it!!!" Really... They want to bury their son, it is their perogative to want to bury him. How badly did the council listen to first set of information to not even know he was a Bournemouth Resident before his very long and painful stay in Great Ormond Street Hospital. His young parents were, and still are, grieving the loss of their youngest child, after a difficult and stressful fight with a devastating illness. RIP Baby Ryan, you will never be forgotten xox
Seriously!! Some of you should be ashamed of your vile , heartless comments!!! "Just get on with it!!!" Really... They want to bury their son, it is their perogative to want to bury him. How badly did the council listen to first set of information to not even know he was a Bournemouth Resident before his very long and painful stay in Great Ormond Street Hospital. His young parents were, and still are, grieving the loss of their youngest child, after a difficult and stressful fight with a devastating illness. RIP Baby Ryan, you will never be forgotten xox JulietK
  • Score: -26

10:44am Wed 15 Jan 14

swbmth says...

This beautiful family just wanted to bury their son in the area he was born!!!!!
The council knew this and took advantage of the fact Ryan was ill and was out of the area in Great Ormond Street hospital -of course the family had to move out of Bournemouth for a while, but it was through no choice of their own.
You people who are saying "just get on with it" have you ever been through the heartache of loosing a child? I saw what this family went through and now they still haven't been able to put their beautiful boy to rest -the council have offered a disgusting apology, but only once they knew that the echo wanted to make a story from it, bmth council are after nothing but money from a greiveing family, its disgusting!
RIP beautiful Ryan, we will never forget you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xx
This beautiful family just wanted to bury their son in the area he was born!!!!! The council knew this and took advantage of the fact Ryan was ill and was out of the area in Great Ormond Street hospital -of course the family had to move out of Bournemouth for a while, but it was through no choice of their own. You people who are saying "just get on with it" have you ever been through the heartache of loosing a child? I saw what this family went through and now they still haven't been able to put their beautiful boy to rest -the council have offered a disgusting apology, but only once they knew that the echo wanted to make a story from it, bmth council are after nothing but money from a greiveing family, its disgusting! RIP beautiful Ryan, we will never forget you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx swbmth
  • Score: -41

11:04am Wed 15 Jan 14

hooplaa says...

L.123.. wrote:
First of all this was not about money and never will be. Secondly the council did not offer an appogy for nearly 5 months and were really quite rude and unsympathetic. I asked for the story to be printed to demonstrate how unsympathetic and incapable the council are even in the most tragic of situations. And how they are also incapable of looking outside the box. Their apology was also a very poor excuse of an apology and only offered to meet when informed the echo were likely to be contacted. For Ryan not to be recognised as a Bournemouth resident after every thing he went through......why would we want to bury him in a Bournemouth grave yard??
Funny how the echo didn't print this quote in the story, i take it you told them? They missed it out if you did for the pure reason of getting a lot of controversial comments. I do hope you and your family get things sorted out.
[quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: First of all this was not about money and never will be. Secondly the council did not offer an appogy for nearly 5 months and were really quite rude and unsympathetic. I asked for the story to be printed to demonstrate how unsympathetic and incapable the council are even in the most tragic of situations. And how they are also incapable of looking outside the box. Their apology was also a very poor excuse of an apology and only offered to meet when informed the echo were likely to be contacted. For Ryan not to be recognised as a Bournemouth resident after every thing he went through......why would we want to bury him in a Bournemouth grave yard??[/p][/quote]Funny how the echo didn't print this quote in the story, i take it you told them? They missed it out if you did for the pure reason of getting a lot of controversial comments. I do hope you and your family get things sorted out. hooplaa
  • Score: 16

11:06am Wed 15 Jan 14

retry69 says...

Oh Dear :(
Oh Dear :( retry69
  • Score: 4

11:16am Wed 15 Jan 14

davecook says...

I feel sure that upon reading this article, the council will re-consider their position on residency. From the councils strict viewpoint, someone who is not resident and is not a taxpayer in Bournemouth at the time of death is technically not a resident. However, this is a technical issue and I am surprised this technical issue has clouded the minds of the people within the council department who obviously have never lost a child, never suffered grief in any form, or have no understanding of the emotions that grieving people go through. Presumably job applicants for councils need to be heartless and thoughtless jobsworths with only an eye for technical detail. Which makes me wonder why they need humans working for them at all, they may as well all be replaced by a computer. So come on Bournemouth Council, prove that you are above a heartless computer and show some compassion for a Bournemouth family who wish to lay the ashes of their infant son to rest.
I feel sure that upon reading this article, the council will re-consider their position on residency. From the councils strict viewpoint, someone who is not resident and is not a taxpayer in Bournemouth at the time of death is technically not a resident. However, this is a technical issue and I am surprised this technical issue has clouded the minds of the people within the council department who obviously have never lost a child, never suffered grief in any form, or have no understanding of the emotions that grieving people go through. Presumably job applicants for councils need to be heartless and thoughtless jobsworths with only an eye for technical detail. Which makes me wonder why they need humans working for them at all, they may as well all be replaced by a computer. So come on Bournemouth Council, prove that you are above a heartless computer and show some compassion for a Bournemouth family who wish to lay the ashes of their infant son to rest. davecook
  • Score: -11

11:19am Wed 15 Jan 14

EccentricmanG says...

Having lost a child myself I feel somewhat empathis with this family, however I agree that go to the council again, discuss the situation and sort it out. Keep on at it till it's done, for his memory and peace.
I for one can understand why a graveyard to lay him to rest as that is where my son is. It's easier for everyone to go and be with him if they wish.
Now go for broke, be proud standing and do your son proud. Sort it out and you will all be at peace. God bless you all and remember your son lives on with you and in you, don't let anything take that away or spoil it.
Having lost a child myself I feel somewhat empathis with this family, however I agree that go to the council again, discuss the situation and sort it out. Keep on at it till it's done, for his memory and peace. I for one can understand why a graveyard to lay him to rest as that is where my son is. It's easier for everyone to go and be with him if they wish. Now go for broke, be proud standing and do your son proud. Sort it out and you will all be at peace. God bless you all and remember your son lives on with you and in you, don't let anything take that away or spoil it. EccentricmanG
  • Score: 25

11:48am Wed 15 Jan 14

L.123.. says...

Looking back at the previous comments and they way peoples comments Re being scored....I wounded how many of the above comments are from employees of Bournemouth Council. Shame on them!
Looking back at the previous comments and they way peoples comments Re being scored....I wounded how many of the above comments are from employees of Bournemouth Council. Shame on them! L.123..
  • Score: -59

11:56am Wed 15 Jan 14

Por Speller says...

The comments on this story are a shocking display of ignorance, trolling or just crass heartlessness. RIP little Ryan.
The comments on this story are a shocking display of ignorance, trolling or just crass heartlessness. RIP little Ryan. Por Speller
  • Score: -30

12:01pm Wed 15 Jan 14

MrPitiful says...

L.123.. wrote:
Looking back at the previous comments and they way peoples comments Re being scored....I wounded how many of the above comments are from employees of Bournemouth Council. Shame on them!
Hello.
I'm not sure that is the case to be honest. A lot of the people who have already commented on this article have been "regulars" on this website for some time and believe me, they are the first to have a pop at the local authorities for many reasons - usually fired up by dodgy Echo reporting of local "issues"

From one parent to another, My sympathies with you & your family for what you have been through and I hope you do get this matter sorted one way or another. so you can all begin to look forward.

Just a thought & from a totally detached and outside point of view - maybe it is the right time to give the council a call and arrange that meeting?

Good Luck.
[quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: Looking back at the previous comments and they way peoples comments Re being scored....I wounded how many of the above comments are from employees of Bournemouth Council. Shame on them![/p][/quote]Hello. I'm not sure that is the case to be honest. A lot of the people who have already commented on this article have been "regulars" on this website for some time and believe me, they are the first to have a pop at the local authorities for many reasons - usually fired up by dodgy Echo reporting of local "issues" From one parent to another, My sympathies with you & your family for what you have been through and I hope you do get this matter sorted one way or another. so you can all begin to look forward. Just a thought & from a totally detached and outside point of view - maybe it is the right time to give the council a call and arrange that meeting? Good Luck. MrPitiful
  • Score: 31

12:01pm Wed 15 Jan 14

retry69 says...

L.123.. wrote:
Looking back at the previous comments and they way peoples comments Re being scored....I wounded how many of the above comments are from employees of Bournemouth Council. Shame on them!
Oh DEAR OH DEAR shame on you having now dragged this story to an even lower level than previous thought.I truly feel very, very sorry for you and your family I do hope you get what you require
[quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: Looking back at the previous comments and they way peoples comments Re being scored....I wounded how many of the above comments are from employees of Bournemouth Council. Shame on them![/p][/quote]Oh DEAR OH DEAR shame on you having now dragged this story to an even lower level than previous thought.I truly feel very, very sorry for you and your family I do hope you get what you require retry69
  • Score: 19

12:10pm Wed 15 Jan 14

L.123.. says...

Bournemouth council have caused irreversible damage. It would be pointless contacting them. A true resolve and apology are too late. This story is merely here to demonstrate the unsympathetic and robotic way the council operate. I think the most the council can do now is learn from this and start treating people as human being not case numbers!
Bournemouth council have caused irreversible damage. It would be pointless contacting them. A true resolve and apology are too late. This story is merely here to demonstrate the unsympathetic and robotic way the council operate. I think the most the council can do now is learn from this and start treating people as human being not case numbers! L.123..
  • Score: -32

12:17pm Wed 15 Jan 14

davecook says...

May I write further to my comment above, having re-read the story and all the comments and thought them all through. It appears that Bournemouth Council were not originally heartless, as Mr and Mrs Loughran appear from the story to own two homes, one in Bournemouth and one in London. Upon moving to London, the council appear to have allowed them to pay no rates on the home in Bournemouth (that is, if I read the story above correctly, or it might just be Mr Loughran's home in London), the point being if my wife and I had two homes, and left the one here empty, I am sure Bournemouth Council would want their share of council tax from us. So maybe the council is not as heartless as I first said above, in which case I hope the council will accept my apology. But I am left with a question. How can a family have two homes and pay council tax on only one.
May I write further to my comment above, having re-read the story and all the comments and thought them all through. It appears that Bournemouth Council were not originally heartless, as Mr and Mrs Loughran appear from the story to own two homes, one in Bournemouth and one in London. Upon moving to London, the council appear to have allowed them to pay no rates on the home in Bournemouth (that is, if I read the story above correctly, or it might just be Mr Loughran's home in London), the point being if my wife and I had two homes, and left the one here empty, I am sure Bournemouth Council would want their share of council tax from us. So maybe the council is not as heartless as I first said above, in which case I hope the council will accept my apology. But I am left with a question. How can a family have two homes and pay council tax on only one. davecook
  • Score: 25

12:41pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Dorset Outsider says...

The article does not say the council refused, they just asked for the fee based on them not paying council tax.
I do not personally understand how this is heartless, stressful maybe. I am sure there are a lot of people in the area who have to pay this fee to bury loved ones, what is the news story here?
The echo are surely adding to the grief. Its a very sad matter and I can imagine that lots of press about it will not help the grieving process.
I hope the matter can be resolved and dropped, with the child being laid to rest.
The article does not say the council refused, they just asked for the fee based on them not paying council tax. I do not personally understand how this is heartless, stressful maybe. I am sure there are a lot of people in the area who have to pay this fee to bury loved ones, what is the news story here? The echo are surely adding to the grief. Its a very sad matter and I can imagine that lots of press about it will not help the grieving process. I hope the matter can be resolved and dropped, with the child being laid to rest. Dorset Outsider
  • Score: 14

12:54pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Dorset Outsider says...

L.123.. wrote:
You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u

k/
This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks.
Thank you Naomi House
If only the echo would give all the information before reporting a story. No doubt the article will be edited some time and all the above comments will be taken out of context.
Perhaps the council could donate the fee to Naomi house as an apology for the mess up with residency.
[quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u k/ This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks. Thank you Naomi House[/p][/quote]If only the echo would give all the information before reporting a story. No doubt the article will be edited some time and all the above comments will be taken out of context. Perhaps the council could donate the fee to Naomi house as an apology for the mess up with residency. Dorset Outsider
  • Score: -16

1:14pm Wed 15 Jan 14

justsayithowitis says...

L.123.. wrote:
You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u

k/
This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks.
Thank you Naomi House
Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why
[quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u k/ This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks. Thank you Naomi House[/p][/quote]Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why justsayithowitis
  • Score: 21

1:42pm Wed 15 Jan 14

pete woodley says...

justsayithowitis wrote:
L.123.. wrote:
You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u


k/
This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks.
Thank you Naomi House
Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why
Very dodgy replies,i too wonder why.
[quote][p][bold]justsayithowitis[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u k/ This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks. Thank you Naomi House[/p][/quote]Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why[/p][/quote]Very dodgy replies,i too wonder why. pete woodley
  • Score: 10

2:12pm Wed 15 Jan 14

L.123.. says...

I hope none of you find you selves in this position
I hope none of you find you selves in this position L.123..
  • Score: -23

2:18pm Wed 15 Jan 14

MCAME1989 says...

No burial should be questioned on the amount!!
Would you question a quote given of how much a headstone will cost?
No burial should be questioned on the amount!! Would you question a quote given of how much a headstone will cost? MCAME1989
  • Score: 5

2:20pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Narwhal says...

bubbles20 wrote:
he should be aloud to be laid at rest wherever his parents want. The people commenting on this clearly havent lost a child. I really feel for this family
I lost a dear little one 18 years ago, I paid what was asked by whomsoever - because all that mattered to us was to see our precious little boy go in peace.

My understanding is that this poor little mite can be laid to rest wherever the parents feel appropriate, however it comes at a cost. The parent(s) chose to apply for a council tax reduction ahd should have thought through the consequences.

My sympathy goes out to the parents at this time for the loss of their child - but please do not sidetrack your grief into anger by finding petty issues to excite the Echo sharks.
[quote][p][bold]bubbles20[/bold] wrote: he should be aloud to be laid at rest wherever his parents want. The people commenting on this clearly havent lost a child. I really feel for this family[/p][/quote]I lost a dear little one 18 years ago, I paid what was asked by whomsoever - because all that mattered to us was to see our precious little boy go in peace. My understanding is that this poor little mite can be laid to rest wherever the parents feel appropriate, however it comes at a cost. The parent(s) chose to apply for a council tax reduction ahd should have thought through the consequences. My sympathy goes out to the parents at this time for the loss of their child - but please do not sidetrack your grief into anger by finding petty issues to excite the Echo sharks. Narwhal
  • Score: 21

2:59pm Wed 15 Jan 14

davecook says...

pete woodley wrote:
justsayithowitis wrote:
L.123.. wrote:
You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u



k/
This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks.
Thank you Naomi House
Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why
Very dodgy replies,i too wonder why.
No wonder the council is confused as to the residential status of poor little Ryan when Louis lives in London with the father, and the Callum lives in Bournemouth with the mother. Perhaps we are now getting to the cause of the confusion.
[quote][p][bold]pete woodley[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]justsayithowitis[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u k/ This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks. Thank you Naomi House[/p][/quote]Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why[/p][/quote]Very dodgy replies,i too wonder why.[/p][/quote]No wonder the council is confused as to the residential status of poor little Ryan when Louis lives in London with the father, and the Callum lives in Bournemouth with the mother. Perhaps we are now getting to the cause of the confusion. davecook
  • Score: 18

3:04pm Wed 15 Jan 14

O'Reilly says...

suzigirl wrote:
Why do you have to bury his ashes? Why not scatter them in a beautiful place. My son is scattered at Lulworth Cove and I would rather go there and think about him than a graveyard!
Well said, a friends father's ashes was scattered at Dean Court some years back and I know numerous people who have scattered ashes of loved ones off the piers into the sea...the film 'Last Orders' is an example of this.
[quote][p][bold]suzigirl[/bold] wrote: Why do you have to bury his ashes? Why not scatter them in a beautiful place. My son is scattered at Lulworth Cove and I would rather go there and think about him than a graveyard![/p][/quote]Well said, a friends father's ashes was scattered at Dean Court some years back and I know numerous people who have scattered ashes of loved ones off the piers into the sea...the film 'Last Orders' is an example of this. O'Reilly
  • Score: 8

3:41pm Wed 15 Jan 14

crazybird says...

Perhaps to be fair we should be able to see copies of the letters that were written to and received from the council. There are rules and procedures to follow whether or not you are grieving. If we were all allowed to just bury people where we fancied without paying a fee or paying the same as a permanent resident then we would have run out of burial space long, long ago. It does seem that the family are just having a whinge - if they were offered the opportunity previously to discuss this with the council then shame on them for using the Echo in this manner when really the point is that they shoould channel their energy into preserving their son's memory and bringing up the other children.
I have no doubt that the family are in absolute turmoil and devastated at the loss of their precious son as we all would be but, the effort it has taken to go to the echo and produce a typical hard done by photo should surely have been put into resolving the issue in a dignified manner. All very sad!
Perhaps to be fair we should be able to see copies of the letters that were written to and received from the council. There are rules and procedures to follow whether or not you are grieving. If we were all allowed to just bury people where we fancied without paying a fee or paying the same as a permanent resident then we would have run out of burial space long, long ago. It does seem that the family are just having a whinge - if they were offered the opportunity previously to discuss this with the council then shame on them for using the Echo in this manner when really the point is that they shoould channel their energy into preserving their son's memory and bringing up the other children. I have no doubt that the family are in absolute turmoil and devastated at the loss of their precious son as we all would be but, the effort it has taken to go to the echo and produce a typical hard done by photo should surely have been put into resolving the issue in a dignified manner. All very sad! crazybird
  • Score: 12

3:49pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Por Speller says...

The trolls are having a great time on this story.
Some people have no respect for a bereaved family and the above comments are an embarrassment to decent people.
The trolls are having a great time on this story. Some people have no respect for a bereaved family and the above comments are an embarrassment to decent people. Por Speller
  • Score: -18

3:51pm Wed 15 Jan 14

retry69 says...

crazybird wrote:
Perhaps to be fair we should be able to see copies of the letters that were written to and received from the council. There are rules and procedures to follow whether or not you are grieving. If we were all allowed to just bury people where we fancied without paying a fee or paying the same as a permanent resident then we would have run out of burial space long, long ago. It does seem that the family are just having a whinge - if they were offered the opportunity previously to discuss this with the council then shame on them for using the Echo in this manner when really the point is that they shoould channel their energy into preserving their son's memory and bringing up the other children.
I have no doubt that the family are in absolute turmoil and devastated at the loss of their precious son as we all would be but, the effort it has taken to go to the echo and produce a typical hard done by photo should surely have been put into resolving the issue in a dignified manner. All very sad!
Yes indeed and from the strength of some of the comments coming from one of the persons concerned it does make me wonder why go to this extreme just to highlight a possible council ****-up ,very strange and as you say very sad
[quote][p][bold]crazybird[/bold] wrote: Perhaps to be fair we should be able to see copies of the letters that were written to and received from the council. There are rules and procedures to follow whether or not you are grieving. If we were all allowed to just bury people where we fancied without paying a fee or paying the same as a permanent resident then we would have run out of burial space long, long ago. It does seem that the family are just having a whinge - if they were offered the opportunity previously to discuss this with the council then shame on them for using the Echo in this manner when really the point is that they shoould channel their energy into preserving their son's memory and bringing up the other children. I have no doubt that the family are in absolute turmoil and devastated at the loss of their precious son as we all would be but, the effort it has taken to go to the echo and produce a typical hard done by photo should surely have been put into resolving the issue in a dignified manner. All very sad![/p][/quote]Yes indeed and from the strength of some of the comments coming from one of the persons concerned it does make me wonder why go to this extreme just to highlight a possible council ****-up ,very strange and as you say very sad retry69
  • Score: 7

4:04pm Wed 15 Jan 14

retry69 says...

Por Speller wrote:
The trolls are having a great time on this story.
Some people have no respect for a bereaved family and the above comments are an embarrassment to decent people.
Me thinks that some people maybe a little too naïve for their own good.
[quote][p][bold]Por Speller[/bold] wrote: The trolls are having a great time on this story. Some people have no respect for a bereaved family and the above comments are an embarrassment to decent people.[/p][/quote]Me thinks that some people maybe a little too naïve for their own good. retry69
  • Score: 14

4:16pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Bournemouth87 says...

So how much compensation will they now want after all this stress? The council for once were right with the info they were given. Now they stand corrected they are willing to meet with the family and discuss options, and the family go to the daily echo. Judging by the comments not the reaction they expected. Shame it has come to this and rip to the child. Lets hope the family talk to the council and not the echo and there little boy can be laid to rest.
So how much compensation will they now want after all this stress? The council for once were right with the info they were given. Now they stand corrected they are willing to meet with the family and discuss options, and the family go to the daily echo. Judging by the comments not the reaction they expected. Shame it has come to this and rip to the child. Lets hope the family talk to the council and not the echo and there little boy can be laid to rest. Bournemouth87
  • Score: 12

4:21pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Lucy28 says...

As a mother who has lost a child my overwhelming desire once she had been cremated was to bury her ashes personally I took out a loan for the money to do so snd then worked out how I was going to pay it, money wasn't going to stop my burying my child. Had I been in the position of the parents I probably would have buried him and then argued the point. But what I or anyone else would have done in the situation of the parents is irrelevant really because he wasn't your child.

As a bereaved parent faceing the most devastating loss you very quickly realise how buracratic the process of death and burial is, unfortunately councils work within such a regimented criteria that doesn't allow for individual circumstances to be considered because to do so would be asking someone to use there own levels of compassion and morality to decide the worth of another's reasons and what may seem tragic and compelling to one person may not to another. You also realise how largely unsympathetic anyone outside if the immediate family are to things that seem so overwhelming and upsetting to you as apparent by some of the comments on this site
As a mother who has lost a child my overwhelming desire once she had been cremated was to bury her ashes personally I took out a loan for the money to do so snd then worked out how I was going to pay it, money wasn't going to stop my burying my child. Had I been in the position of the parents I probably would have buried him and then argued the point. But what I or anyone else would have done in the situation of the parents is irrelevant really because he wasn't your child. As a bereaved parent faceing the most devastating loss you very quickly realise how buracratic the process of death and burial is, unfortunately councils work within such a regimented criteria that doesn't allow for individual circumstances to be considered because to do so would be asking someone to use there own levels of compassion and morality to decide the worth of another's reasons and what may seem tragic and compelling to one person may not to another. You also realise how largely unsympathetic anyone outside if the immediate family are to things that seem so overwhelming and upsetting to you as apparent by some of the comments on this site Lucy28
  • Score: -5

4:45pm Wed 15 Jan 14

karenkaza says...

Surely the love for your little boy outweighs any fee and if its that important to you you'd pay the fee, put him to rest , then go get recompensed.
Surely the love for your little boy outweighs any fee and if its that important to you you'd pay the fee, put him to rest , then go get recompensed. karenkaza
  • Score: 13

4:45pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Lord Spring says...

http://www.bournemou
th.gov.uk/CouncilDem
ocracy/CouncilTax/02
L-Unoccupied-and-Emp
ty-Properties.aspx

There are other cases where unoccupied but not necessarily unfurnished properties may be exempt from Council Tax.

One being

left unoccupied by someone who has gone to live elsewhere to look after someone else
http://www.bournemou th.gov.uk/CouncilDem ocracy/CouncilTax/02 L-Unoccupied-and-Emp ty-Properties.aspx There are other cases where unoccupied but not necessarily unfurnished properties may be exempt from Council Tax. One being left unoccupied by someone who has gone to live elsewhere to look after someone else Lord Spring
  • Score: 1

4:48pm Wed 15 Jan 14

rozmister says...

crazybird wrote:
Perhaps to be fair we should be able to see copies of the letters that were written to and received from the council. There are rules and procedures to follow whether or not you are grieving. If we were all allowed to just bury people where we fancied without paying a fee or paying the same as a permanent resident then we would have run out of burial space long, long ago. It does seem that the family are just having a whinge - if they were offered the opportunity previously to discuss this with the council then shame on them for using the Echo in this manner when really the point is that they shoould channel their energy into preserving their son's memory and bringing up the other children.
I have no doubt that the family are in absolute turmoil and devastated at the loss of their precious son as we all would be but, the effort it has taken to go to the echo and produce a typical hard done by photo should surely have been put into resolving the issue in a dignified manner. All very sad!
You are able to see copies of the letters written from the council under the Freedom of Information Act providing they don't deem the content confidential. If they do they'll blank out the confidential bits and give you the rest.
[quote][p][bold]crazybird[/bold] wrote: Perhaps to be fair we should be able to see copies of the letters that were written to and received from the council. There are rules and procedures to follow whether or not you are grieving. If we were all allowed to just bury people where we fancied without paying a fee or paying the same as a permanent resident then we would have run out of burial space long, long ago. It does seem that the family are just having a whinge - if they were offered the opportunity previously to discuss this with the council then shame on them for using the Echo in this manner when really the point is that they shoould channel their energy into preserving their son's memory and bringing up the other children. I have no doubt that the family are in absolute turmoil and devastated at the loss of their precious son as we all would be but, the effort it has taken to go to the echo and produce a typical hard done by photo should surely have been put into resolving the issue in a dignified manner. All very sad![/p][/quote]You are able to see copies of the letters written from the council under the Freedom of Information Act providing they don't deem the content confidential. If they do they'll blank out the confidential bits and give you the rest. rozmister
  • Score: 6

5:02pm Wed 15 Jan 14

bobthedestroyer says...

From reading the article there was no need for this to be reported. The Council have offered an apology but were only acting on information they received from the complainant.

If anything going to the press has tarnished the memory of Ryan for the family even more.

The Echo never seem to think before posting a story, I think its becuase the more people view the page the more money they get from advertisers :-)
From reading the article there was no need for this to be reported. The Council have offered an apology but were only acting on information they received from the complainant. If anything going to the press has tarnished the memory of Ryan for the family even more. The Echo never seem to think before posting a story, I think its becuase the more people view the page the more money they get from advertisers :-) bobthedestroyer
  • Score: 8

5:05pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Old Colonial says...

Echo, you have really plumbed the depths of current reporting standards with this one.
Echo, you have really plumbed the depths of current reporting standards with this one. Old Colonial
  • Score: 4

5:09pm Wed 15 Jan 14

kalebmoledirt says...

Steven Smith(the reporter) you caused a storm .so give us the facts
Steven Smith(the reporter) you caused a storm .so give us the facts kalebmoledirt
  • Score: 7

5:11pm Wed 15 Jan 14

whataboutthat says...

" view the page the more money they get from advertisers"
Install Firefox or Chrome as you internet browser.
After then Install ADBLOCK PLUS as an 'add on'
Result - you will never see an advert on a website ever again!
Simples.
ps if you use Internet Explorer you deserve everything you get!
If you don't know how to do this find somebody who can help you. The net will never be the same!
" view the page the more money they get from advertisers" Install Firefox or Chrome as you internet browser. After then Install ADBLOCK PLUS as an 'add on' Result - you will never see an advert on a website ever again! Simples. ps if you use Internet Explorer you deserve everything you get! If you don't know how to do this find somebody who can help you. The net will never be the same! whataboutthat
  • Score: -8

5:28pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Susan1970 says...

L.123.. wrote:
I would like to be scattering the ashes of some of he people who have commented on this story. Unfortunately I guess I'll never get the chance ;)
Really horrible hurtful, thoughtless comments from people responding to your story - I'm so sorry.

It seems to be the central issue is that the form is poorly designed. Surely it should seek to elict where someone is normally resident, and not charge someone additional monies because they HAD to live somewhere else to receive life saving treatment that sadly failed.

I'm sorry that people have been so incredibly insensitive to you.
[quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: I would like to be scattering the ashes of some of he people who have commented on this story. Unfortunately I guess I'll never get the chance ;)[/p][/quote]Really horrible hurtful, thoughtless comments from people responding to your story - I'm so sorry. It seems to be the central issue is that the form is poorly designed. Surely it should seek to elict where someone is normally resident, and not charge someone additional monies because they HAD to live somewhere else to receive life saving treatment that sadly failed. I'm sorry that people have been so incredibly insensitive to you. Susan1970
  • Score: -15

6:12pm Wed 15 Jan 14

GAHmusic says...

From the start of this story to the end of the comments this entire page is a disgrace with only one person who matters a certain little lad called Ryan
From the start of this story to the end of the comments this entire page is a disgrace with only one person who matters a certain little lad called Ryan GAHmusic
  • Score: -4

6:23pm Wed 15 Jan 14

itsneverblackorwhite says...

I have every sympathy for the family, however as previous people have commentated the council have offered to help. If they choose not discuss this with the council then that is up to them, little point in seeking support for a cause with the media if you have not had any dialogue with the other party first to resolve the issue.
I have every sympathy for the family, however as previous people have commentated the council have offered to help. If they choose not discuss this with the council then that is up to them, little point in seeking support for a cause with the media if you have not had any dialogue with the other party first to resolve the issue. itsneverblackorwhite
  • Score: 12

6:29pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Ayles 10 says...

To lose a child must surely be horrendous, but why on earth take it to the local newspaper who thrive on sensationalism? Speak to the council, who have made it clear they want to help.
To lose a child must surely be horrendous, but why on earth take it to the local newspaper who thrive on sensationalism? Speak to the council, who have made it clear they want to help. Ayles 10
  • Score: 15

6:38pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Ayles 10 says...

justsayithowitis wrote:
L.123.. wrote:
You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u


k/
This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks.
Thank you Naomi House
Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why
It is all beginning to look highly dodgy in my opinion. I think Echo its time to remove the story & comments. Surely parents that are truly grieving wouldn't lower themselves to this level......
[quote][p][bold]justsayithowitis[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]L.123..[/bold] wrote: You are miss informed. Mrs Loughran owned to homes in Bournemouth. 1 was her family home and the other rented out. My Loughran who had separated from Mrs Loughran live in a 1 bedroom rented flat in London with his 2 year old son. The council tax was paid for a considerable time at mrs Loughrans family home. When informing the council the property family home had been vacant for over 6 months the council classed the property as unoccupied and refunded part of the council tax. But now the point is being missed. This was never about money and never will be. Ryan being classed as a non resident was the issue. Bournemouth council failed to recognise this little soldier but now they have had to. Case closed. While we are on the matter of money please feel free to donate any money to www.naomihouse.org.u k/ This. Is where Ryan spent his last few weeks. Thank you Naomi House[/p][/quote]Very confused. You are writing some comments as though you are one of the parents and others as though you are not. Not sure why[/p][/quote]It is all beginning to look highly dodgy in my opinion. I think Echo its time to remove the story & comments. Surely parents that are truly grieving wouldn't lower themselves to this level...... Ayles 10
  • Score: 16

6:45pm Wed 15 Jan 14

baylin says...

What has this council tax wrangle got to do with not burying their child it seems to me that anyone with some petty grievance can phone up the Echo and we are meant to wade threw this rubish for what they call the days news.
What has this council tax wrangle got to do with not burying their child it seems to me that anyone with some petty grievance can phone up the Echo and we are meant to wade threw this rubish for what they call the days news. baylin
  • Score: 11

7:31pm Wed 15 Jan 14

billy bumble says...

Losing a child is the hardest possible thing and the bereaved parents have my deepest and utmost sympathy

It does not gainsay the fact however that the mother is coming across as not very nice
Losing a child is the hardest possible thing and the bereaved parents have my deepest and utmost sympathy It does not gainsay the fact however that the mother is coming across as not very nice billy bumble
  • Score: 7

7:44pm Wed 15 Jan 14

spooki says...

L.123 you are really delving from the bottom to make comments like you have about scattering ashes of the commenters here.
How dare you wish the worst on people you've never met?
While I have every sympathy for you and your family for the loss of your child and the awful situation you have been in since, that doesn't give you the right to wish death on anyone else.
If the council have decoded to backtrack and apologise FOR WHATEVER REASON then meet with them and see what they have to say now that the 'press' are involved.
If it's that because he died in a different area that the council have charged you this amount, then that must be their rules.
My dad died in Christchurch and up to 10 days before he died he spent in Bournemouth. Yet we still had to get him 'moved' officially back into Bournemouth to have his funeral.
We didn't bury his ashes by the way, we sprinkled them where he used to watch the Red Arrows. Perhaps this kind of thing might be a better option for you?
L.123 you are really delving from the bottom to make comments like you have about scattering ashes of the commenters here. How dare you wish the worst on people you've never met? While I have every sympathy for you and your family for the loss of your child and the awful situation you have been in since, that doesn't give you the right to wish death on anyone else. If the council have decoded to backtrack and apologise FOR WHATEVER REASON then meet with them and see what they have to say now that the 'press' are involved. If it's that because he died in a different area that the council have charged you this amount, then that must be their rules. My dad died in Christchurch and up to 10 days before he died he spent in Bournemouth. Yet we still had to get him 'moved' officially back into Bournemouth to have his funeral. We didn't bury his ashes by the way, we sprinkled them where he used to watch the Red Arrows. Perhaps this kind of thing might be a better option for you? spooki
  • Score: 15

7:54pm Wed 15 Jan 14

niki 03 says...

The family are grieving and you lot should be ashamed of yourselves. The point was that they wanted to bury ryan in Bournemouth where they live and he was born. As they had to move to London for treatment the council said they were not residents so couldn't bury him there. Onlyas the family threatened the council with the papers they offered to talk. So for all the ar*#holes that are commenting with your vileness you need to keep your comments to yourselves. You all disgust me
The family are grieving and you lot should be ashamed of yourselves. The point was that they wanted to bury ryan in Bournemouth where they live and he was born. As they had to move to London for treatment the council said they were not residents so couldn't bury him there. Onlyas the family threatened the council with the papers they offered to talk. So for all the ar*#holes that are commenting with your vileness you need to keep your comments to yourselves. You all disgust me niki 03
  • Score: -21

8:03pm Wed 15 Jan 14

chrisii1991 says...

im not surprised,councils after more money greed greed
im not surprised,councils after more money greed greed chrisii1991
  • Score: -13

8:12pm Wed 15 Jan 14

poolebob says...

I sympathise with the family in their loss but this seems to be a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it.

They declared the flat empty to save on Council Tax yet still expect to be treated as residents and get a reduction on the cemetry charges

Sorry but you can't have it both ways.
I sympathise with the family in their loss but this seems to be a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it. They declared the flat empty to save on Council Tax yet still expect to be treated as residents and get a reduction on the cemetry charges Sorry but you can't have it both ways. poolebob
  • Score: 18

8:30pm Wed 15 Jan 14

twynhamob says...

Ohec, the Echo once again fails to tell the whole story, shame on S.Smith, I am coming to the conclusion that reporters for this paper deliberately omit certain details, or timelines just so as they can say "we get a hundred comments on all our stories" to prospective advertisers, goes to the bottom line.
Ohec, the Echo once again fails to tell the whole story, shame on S.Smith, I am coming to the conclusion that reporters for this paper deliberately omit certain details, or timelines just so as they can say "we get a hundred comments on all our stories" to prospective advertisers, goes to the bottom line. twynhamob
  • Score: -2

10:58pm Wed 15 Jan 14

Yankee1 says...

In my family, we honour our departed first, and haggle over the bill after.

It seems the right way to go about it.
In my family, we honour our departed first, and haggle over the bill after. It seems the right way to go about it. Yankee1
  • Score: 15

5:47am Thu 16 Jan 14

we-shall-see says...

This story sounds certainly more than a little "iffy" to me. They own several properties but live apart ….. is that for tax reasons/benefit claims?

Personally, this seems absolutely horrendous to be fighting over a dead child - but as the council have pointed out - the original decision was made on the information supplied from the father - so since it was he who did not make it clear the child was a resident, it is he who should apologise for running to the Echo and giving them full permission to print his obvious mistake.

Certainly the mistake could be put down to grief at the time - but as he consistently seems to have refused to sort it out with the council, what the hell did he think running to the papers would achieve? It has certainly not shown the council to be hard hearted if that is what he wanted - indeed it appears to be the parents in this case who have hardened their resolve *not* to sort it out!

Yet another example of today's society that fails to accept their own mistakes and blames everyone else.

That guy needs to man up and sort his son's burial out or not, as he choses and retain some dignity for the little guy, not go spitting & squabbling over the top of his coffin!!!
This story sounds certainly more than a little "iffy" to me. They own several properties but live apart ….. is that for tax reasons/benefit claims? Personally, this seems absolutely horrendous to be fighting over a dead child - but as the council have pointed out - the original decision was made on the information supplied from the father - so since it was he who did not make it clear the child was a resident, it is he who should apologise for running to the Echo and giving them full permission to print his obvious mistake. Certainly the mistake could be put down to grief at the time - but as he consistently seems to have refused to sort it out with the council, what the hell did he think running to the papers would achieve? It has certainly not shown the council to be hard hearted if that is what he wanted - indeed it appears to be the parents in this case who have hardened their resolve *not* to sort it out! Yet another example of today's society that fails to accept their own mistakes and blames everyone else. That guy needs to man up and sort his son's burial out or not, as he choses and retain some dignity for the little guy, not go spitting & squabbling over the top of his coffin!!! we-shall-see
  • Score: 11

5:51am Thu 16 Jan 14

ShuttleX says...

niki 03 wrote:
The family are grieving and you lot should be ashamed of yourselves. The point was that they wanted to bury ryan in Bournemouth where they live and he was born. As they had to move to London for treatment the council said they were not residents so couldn't bury him there. Onlyas the family threatened the council with the papers they offered to talk. So for all the ar*#holes that are commenting with your vileness you need to keep your comments to yourselves. You all disgust me
Why should we keep our comments to ourselves? Your friend is the one who went running to the papers because he couldn't get his own way. At no time did the Council say they could not bury Ryan in Bournemouth, they just said it would be as a non resident. That was based on information your friend gave them. He went crying to the press to get the sympathy vote, but that didn't happen. Most people seem to think he is a childish fool for throwing his toys out of the pram and not engaging in talks with the Council to sort this out. Complaining about other peoples posts is another silly move. Just because I said I had checked his story with the Council, and basically found it to be a pack of lies and miss truths doesn't mean my post should have been removed. Whilst I may have sympathy for anybody who has lost a loved one, I have none for the childish way this person has gone about dealing with it.
[quote][p][bold]niki 03[/bold] wrote: The family are grieving and you lot should be ashamed of yourselves. The point was that they wanted to bury ryan in Bournemouth where they live and he was born. As they had to move to London for treatment the council said they were not residents so couldn't bury him there. Onlyas the family threatened the council with the papers they offered to talk. So for all the ar*#holes that are commenting with your vileness you need to keep your comments to yourselves. You all disgust me[/p][/quote]Why should we keep our comments to ourselves? Your friend is the one who went running to the papers because he couldn't get his own way. At no time did the Council say they could not bury Ryan in Bournemouth, they just said it would be as a non resident. That was based on information your friend gave them. He went crying to the press to get the sympathy vote, but that didn't happen. Most people seem to think he is a childish fool for throwing his toys out of the pram and not engaging in talks with the Council to sort this out. Complaining about other peoples posts is another silly move. Just because I said I had checked his story with the Council, and basically found it to be a pack of lies and miss truths doesn't mean my post should have been removed. Whilst I may have sympathy for anybody who has lost a loved one, I have none for the childish way this person has gone about dealing with it. ShuttleX
  • Score: 15

7:42am Thu 16 Jan 14

justsayithowitis says...

niki 03 wrote:
The family are grieving and you lot should be ashamed of yourselves. The point was that they wanted to bury ryan in Bournemouth where they live and he was born. As they had to move to London for treatment the council said they were not residents so couldn't bury him there. Onlyas the family threatened the council with the papers they offered to talk. So for all the ar*#holes that are commenting with your vileness you need to keep your comments to yourselves. You all disgust me
The council did not say Ryan could not be buried in bournemouth.
[quote][p][bold]niki 03[/bold] wrote: The family are grieving and you lot should be ashamed of yourselves. The point was that they wanted to bury ryan in Bournemouth where they live and he was born. As they had to move to London for treatment the council said they were not residents so couldn't bury him there. Onlyas the family threatened the council with the papers they offered to talk. So for all the ar*#holes that are commenting with your vileness you need to keep your comments to yourselves. You all disgust me[/p][/quote]The council did not say Ryan could not be buried in bournemouth. justsayithowitis
  • Score: 9

9:18am Thu 16 Jan 14

niki 03 says...

Your all missing the point. They are residents not non residents. The council only offered to talk after the papers got involved
Your all missing the point. They are residents not non residents. The council only offered to talk after the papers got involved niki 03
  • Score: -9

10:07am Thu 16 Jan 14

TheDistrict says...

Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves.

We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family.

Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.
Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves. We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family. Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so. TheDistrict
  • Score: 4

4:42pm Thu 16 Jan 14

pete woodley says...

TheDistrict wrote:
Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves.

We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family.

Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.
And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting.
[quote][p][bold]TheDistrict[/bold] wrote: Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves. We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family. Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.[/p][/quote]And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting. pete woodley
  • Score: 3

4:44pm Thu 16 Jan 14

pete woodley says...

TheDistrict wrote:
Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves.

We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family.

Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.
And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting.This is to L123 and niki03.
[quote][p][bold]TheDistrict[/bold] wrote: Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves. We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family. Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.[/p][/quote]And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting.This is to L123 and niki03. pete woodley
  • Score: 3

8:22pm Thu 16 Jan 14

niki 03 says...

pete woodley wrote:
TheDistrict wrote:
Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves.

We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family.

Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.
And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting.This is to L123 and niki03.
I think people commenting are absolutely disgusting. We all share different opinions but there is still no need for the vile comments that are being made
[quote][p][bold]pete woodley[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]TheDistrict[/bold] wrote: Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves. We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family. Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.[/p][/quote]And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting.This is to L123 and niki03.[/p][/quote]I think people commenting are absolutely disgusting. We all share different opinions but there is still no need for the vile comments that are being made niki 03
  • Score: -3

10:15pm Thu 16 Jan 14

fedupofchristchurch says...

misplacedspaniard wrote:
I must point out that whilst I agree with all the comments thus far you have to remember these parents are going through the most horrific grief.

When you are grieving your brain does not think rationally. It's easy for us to sit here and say 'yeah go and speak to the council etc' but in their mind the council have really upset them. To an outsider it looks pretty simple but in the throws of emotional pain they must be experiencing the slightest thing will deeply offend them.

To the parents I would say this; take a breath and see what the council has to say. Don't take any cr&p from them but maybe take a friend with you. Someone you can trust who isn't as charged with emotion as you. Sometimes you hear things differently to how it's meant because you are very upset.

Good luck xxxxx
All of the comments on here understand the grief the parents are going through at this very sad time, but if they can think straight to speak to the press then they can think straight to talk to the Council. Their main concerns should be laying their son to rest instead of complaining about the Council who can only act on the information they are given.
[quote][p][bold]misplacedspaniard[/bold] wrote: I must point out that whilst I agree with all the comments thus far you have to remember these parents are going through the most horrific grief. When you are grieving your brain does not think rationally. It's easy for us to sit here and say 'yeah go and speak to the council etc' but in their mind the council have really upset them. To an outsider it looks pretty simple but in the throws of emotional pain they must be experiencing the slightest thing will deeply offend them. To the parents I would say this; take a breath and see what the council has to say. Don't take any cr&p from them but maybe take a friend with you. Someone you can trust who isn't as charged with emotion as you. Sometimes you hear things differently to how it's meant because you are very upset. Good luck xxxxx[/p][/quote]All of the comments on here understand the grief the parents are going through at this very sad time, but if they can think straight to speak to the press then they can think straight to talk to the Council. Their main concerns should be laying their son to rest instead of complaining about the Council who can only act on the information they are given. fedupofchristchurch
  • Score: 3

8:01am Fri 17 Jan 14

justsayithowitis says...

niki 03 wrote:
pete woodley wrote:
TheDistrict wrote:
Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves.

We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family.

Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.
And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting.This is to L123 and niki03.
I think people commenting are absolutely disgusting. We all share different opinions but there is still no need for the vile comments that are being made
The vilest comment came from you niki 03 wishing commenters children dead. Can't really get worse than that
[quote][p][bold]niki 03[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]pete woodley[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]TheDistrict[/bold] wrote: Why is it that people believe that because one makes a comment, that they have not gone through the tragedy and trauma of death. It matters not who passed away, the trauma of events that follow are of very similar meaning and the cause of stress. So I suggest those accusing those who have commented should keep their unknown comments to themselves. We are all saddened at the problems that have arose from this very traumatic matter, however, the council have offered an alternative support, which we all hope will satisfy the needs of this family. Yes, I have gone through bereavments. Three times in the last 10 years or so.[/p][/quote]And i have lost a sister,an expartner,and loads of mates,in the last 2 years,so your despicable comments show a very evil streak in you.You are absolutely disgusting.This is to L123 and niki03.[/p][/quote]I think people commenting are absolutely disgusting. We all share different opinions but there is still no need for the vile comments that are being made[/p][/quote]The vilest comment came from you niki 03 wishing commenters children dead. Can't really get worse than that justsayithowitis
  • Score: 4

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